The Train Wreck

Well, it died at about 10:15 PM. I tried my best to save it, but there was nothing I could do. You can't resuscitate something that wants to die. To be fair, it's really my fault. I shouldn't have put her through me. She said she was changing at a slow rate, and I feel I've disrupted that. I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted her to be happy. But, like all my relationships, this train will never make it to the station. It went off the tracks and into the abyss already. I suppose I could get on another train, but I just can't summon the will. I want to cry, but crying over a train wreck never saved any lives. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want people to hurt anymore. Not because of me. I create strife. I can't allow myself to ride this train anymore. Not until I feel strong enough to get back on. I... I just need sleep this all off. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and it will all be some kind of twisted dream. Last time I woke up, it was from an imagined coma. Tomorrow, who knows what I will wake up and find? I almost don't want to see, but I have to. I can't live my life by the train schedule right now. I just...







I just want to be happy. Can no one else see that?