Greetings motherfuckers

On September the 4th, at approximately 9PM PST, Biran, Eater of Worlds, will touchdown onto what has collectively been called by pseudo-philosophical individuals "the Yay Area" (home, of course, of the infamous Bleacher Boys).

On that day, Biran will do the following:

-eat 2-3 burritos (paid in pesos)
-scream emotionally at the raging Bay Area sea
-express gratitude towards the serious lack of humidity
-get lost in a crowd of pale faces, faint
-make out with each aforementioned Bleacher Boy
-eat In n Out for a week straight, gain weight, barf
-play Super Smash Brothers whilst asking in an irritating manner whether in fact the blonde character in the pink dress did actually win
-drive a car at whatever speed of his choosing
-scream at the cop who stopped him in a hodgepodge of broken Korean and gibberish
-swear off drinking cause jesus christ Koreans drink too much but then what the hell let's go to Lucky 13
-rave his face off, eventually
-move in with some fine individuals (who are these individuals??)
-commence awesome life

That is all.