Dear Friends
Fuck you guys, fuck ALL of you! Your all a bunch of flaky assholes. When was the last time any of you called me? What the fuck?! I can’t remember the last time any one of you called me, for anything, let alone to hang out! It has honestly been years since any of you called me for anything more than a fucking favor. And lately, when I’ve called you guys about hanging out, which I hate fucking doing cause not a single one of you assholes seems capable of extending that same courtesy to me, you say “no” or you fucking bail.
Travis we were supposed to get together a few weeks ago to talk about movie stuff, but you fucking bailed cause BJ didn't show, who the fuck cares! I didn't call you and BJ to talk about filming, I called YOU! And you fucking bailed cause BJ didn't come. Why does BJ need to be there for us to hang?! We haven't hung out for while now, can you guess why? cause i haven't fucking called you! that's why! It seems like the only time we ever hang out is when i call you "lets get lunch" or "what are you doin later." but when i stop, look at what happens, NOTHING!! that fucking sucks.
Lucio, what the fuck happened to lunch?! Not a fucking word! You didn't say a fucking word! I said id go with you, what, did you forget? Yea, I guess it’s not that fucking important. Call me for a ride, but you cant follow through with a lunch invitation? Yea, that's fine.
BJ though, you're the worst, the fucking WORST! I can’t believe how many times you have bailed on me, it fucking drives me nuts. I can’t believe I still invite you to anything, I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! All you do is bail on me, and without a fucking word. You never tell me anything, you never give me an excuse, you never say a goddamn thing! I just sit there, waiting for a fucking FRIEND that is never gonna show! What’s really shitty about that is every time I invite you to something I always tell myself “don't expect too much, don't expect anything, he’s not gonna show” and every fucking time I’m right. So it’s no surprise, not at all, I’m never surprised when you bail on me without a word, not anymore, but it still fucking hurts.
And Alyssa, what happened with you going away? What? You cant even call me for a goodbye dinner?! I guess I can’t complain too much, I’m not alone on this one. But again, what the fuck? BJ and me aren’t your friends anymore? We aren't close enough to go have a quite going fucking away for a whole goddamn year dinner with you?! And you've got the balls to give BJ shit for not giving you a goodbye phone call. Why the fuck couldn't you call him? You're the one going away for a whole goddamn year! You got nothing to say to him? To me? Just gonna leave without a fuckin word, cause we didn't call you. See ya in a year FRIEND!
And don't think for a second that’s everything, that's just the recent shit.
This is bullshit.
Don't fucking call me.
Comments
You know who I spent my last night with? Moose and Aya. They come over at 10pm...remember, we told you we were going to Juanitas and you said "not interested." All you wanted was for him to help you with your fucking homework. If any of you assholes wanted to say bye you could have called me. You know where I live...you've all known now for months that I was leaving. How do you think I felt? My supposed best friends (except for the ones living with me) didn't even say goodbye.
Yeah, I should have called too but the last week was spent getting all of my shit together and I was expecting a call from...someone. I wouldn't say I was testing anyone of you but I didn't feel like anyone was gonna call and of course I was right. Maybe it's a bit childish to feel that way but most of the time it doesn't feel like any of you give a shit (not including roommates here.)
And while I am it I'd also like to say that I have no idea where our friendship stands Matt. In fact, I don't know how it stands for any of the Bleacher Boys. You waltz back into our lives whenever its convenient for you and disappear just as quickly. When you 'came back' this time around I was extremely weary and as it stands I don't know if I really trust you. But I've spent the better of the last 4 years being ignored by you so this really isn't much of a change!
Three cheers for friendship, yipee!
And I really don't feel comfortable calling you. You only ever seem to want to hang out when you have the time. In the past, when I have tried to call, it usually doesn't work out. Plus your girlfriend sucks, she still hates me and everyone for...whatever reasons, and that makes including you PRETTY DIFFICULT!
I can't speak for everyone hear but I'd love to hear what else you have to say about us. Cause I sure as hell haven't said everything that I would like to say.
But to be REALLY HONEST, I'm tired and fed up of you and your shit so if you want to make things work with us then everyone needs to be fucking honest about how they feel. But if you really want to be left alone then I've got no problem with that.
I'm perfectly willing to hang out, I like being you're friend. And I'm totally up for talking about this, but I HAVE A FEELING, you don't want to listen, and you're like a victim or something. So when you're feeling a little better we can settle this.
Oh and I don't think you have any ground to stand on to talk to Alyssa that way. Cheers.
I don't have any anger for it, once I got on that plane everything was pretty much left behind. So sorry Bryan if I didn't call. Be upset with me if you wish but I've got too much going on to be angry at friends that I'm not going to see for months.
I guess this is what I wanted to point out. Alyssa's resolved her stuff with us, she was just speaking on it because this while "being left ouf/behind" thing was brought up. It is a dumb argument, let's move on from it.
ALyssa, you wanna know why i didn't come to that dinner with you and mosse? cause i was a fucking afterthought. thats more mooses bad than yours, he could have said something to me, but going with the general theme of this post, he didn't call me. he invited me cause i texted him about something completely unrelated, im not gonna stop everything im doing and run out to dinner with you guys cause i stumbled into it. again, not much to do with you there, but thats why i wasn't interested. and yea, we knew you were leaving in September, but not the exact day. You wanna know where we stand? we are both uncomfortable with the idea of calling/hanging with each other. And what sucks is studying with you was a great excuse to get around that. unless it was really late or i had something to do, i was never in a rush to leave after studying. and dont bring up olivia, fuck that shit. she hasn't been in the picture for at least a year. get over it, you cant blame her for us not working, its between you and me ONLY. your just diggin up old bullshit on that one and you know it. i only want to hang when i have the time? really? have you been here for the past year? ive made it very clear, ive said it several times, on fridays and saturdays you guys have priority. and for a little while there, i saw you guys pretty much every friday and saturday. i mean really, have you just blocked out the past year or something? your bringing up some very old memories. the problem is no longer me making time for everyone, its someone calling me to hang.
BJ, yes you call me, you are really the only person of the group that does, but if i invite you to something, there is very little chance that you will show. friday you fell asleep, you could have sent me a text saying "dunno if im gonna make it, im tired" but you didn't. And boxing? another example of you continuing to bail on me, i waited for you on those days, i would have liked to go earlier, but i waited for you, but you bailed every time. Last time i invited you to dinner, you said youd go, and when i called to tell you to meet me you said "im watching some rap-off with trav" (or something like that) fucking fantastic. and it keeps going just like that. we went to the comedy clud together cause you invited me, of course you were gonna how to that one. and i have little faith that you will show for the sailing thing cause we gotta get up at like 8, and if paintball has been any indicator of how you are with early saturdays, you wont be showing. i know these arent intentional slights (at least i fucking hope not) but really dude, how many fucking times do you need to pull that shit on me?
We're supposed to be friends, lets start acting like it again.
"this isnt a "fuck you guys i don't want to be friends anymore" post "
How exactly is it NOT that...I can't even count how many types you wrote fuck in your post!
And as far as hanging out goes/studying it really was not a problem at first. But since it kept happening so much I really felt like that was the only reason you ever needed to see me. I can understand why it was an "excuse" and from now on I'll keep that in mind.
I just want us all to get along like we used to, is it really that hard? Well, I don't think so..so when I come back you guys all better be a fuckin' happy family.
Let me give you the perfect example: recently my mom asked me to write five reasons I "love/value her" as part of a thing she's doing. I completely forgot to do this, three weeks in a row. This is my mom asking me to qualify my emotional connection to her. I guess it seems disrespectful but it's like this: you have your Matt traits and I have my traits. When I'm focused on something, I'm right on point with it, but if it's at the back of my mind, you have to understand that it's sharing a space with a million other things. I can't tell you how many times I've been walking down the street and I suddenly realized I forgot to do something. That's just my fucking brain dude, I'm not trying to make you feel like a shit head.
Alyssa: i never said anywhere in my post that i was done with you guys or i didn't want to be friends anymore, i just said fuck a lot. just cause were friends doesn't mean i cat get mad and say "fuck you." and like i said, i can see why you guys might have thought that considering past stuff, but that's not what it was.
You wanna know what's really shitty and dull? The past four months of everyone's fucking lives. Not just mine. Travis, Roper, Andrew, Alyssa. We're all going through different shit that fucking sucks. You are not exclusively alone in your nonenjoyment of the way the world is treating you. I'm going out of my fucking skin some days. You know who I've hung out with on a regular basis lately? Myself. That's it. I just can't scrape up a lot of sympathy right now because while you're busy feeling slighted, I'm waking up in the morning wondering what the fuck the point of all this is. I seriously don't even know how to relate to your problem. I don't mean to sound callous and I'm not calling you a bitch, I'm saying it literally doesn't even make sense to me right now in terms of things to complain about. The only person I know who's even on this page right now is Travis. I seriously don't know what else to say. I mean, I feel like you are complaining about something to me when my own problem seems a whole lot worse. Sorry.