Sweet Dreams
Sometimes I forget why I attempt to forgo restful sleep. And then I get some and I have dreams, and I remember all over again.
The dream opens up with me being airlifted by a helicopter to a hospital. It's clear to me somehow that it's not be who is dying but a woman who I am in love with. I can't get a clear picture of her face except in that she has blond hair. Something goes wrong and the helicopter crashes. I very vividly remember laying in warm, wet grass as I can hear the sound of bees and see flames from the fuel.
I come to and I am standing at a pool watching the interview of a police officer who I get the notion is technically a suspect but not really. They talk briefly and then we are all driven back to the hospital. I get the feeling that I'm the same man but I'm not. I don't know how to make it more clear. Some kind of conscious transference. I want to tell my captain but I'm afraid I will sound crazy. We find ourselves in a very dimly lit room, dank and seemingly disused. The air is thick and musty, and so dark that I can't see the corners of it. Myself, the captain, and the third officer are all there, along with a silver haired man who keeps shooting accusing glances at me. He is part of the FBI and though he says nothing, the look on his face is plain as day, but only to me. We talk about the blond haired woman as she lies in critical condition on a medical table. Strangely, there is no medical equipment in the room, just the table, which her body rests on underneath a white sheet. The FBI man and my captain continue talking about what may have happened for a while, before we leave and head back for the police station.
The next thing I know, I'm riding shotgun in a three seat police helicopter. It's morning, it's pouring rain, and we are landing the helicopter so that we can take a break. We take some time at a snack stand that is under an overpass. The lady never makes eye contact with me. My two partners seem nice, both older, one thin and tall with a very distinctive mustache, the other being the officer I met at the pool. I become aware that I am a trainee for the helicopter unit. I think for some reason that when we head back to the copter that I will have to sit in the pilot seat and demonstrate my knowledge. At this point, I don't know whether or not I actually can. I put my drink in the driver's cupholder, but then the tall man tells me to scoot over and I feel bad that he puts his drink in another spot and has to go through an elaborate process to reach it when he wants to drink. As we fly over this massive city in the pouring rain, the cockpit windshield is lit up with data about the various houses and establishments we pass over. I'm still not clear on exactly what our job is supposed to be. The fat cop jokes with me about thinking that I'm going to fly the copter based on where I put my drink, and I laugh sheepishly.
We are back at the police station, with aisles of equipment that resemble a supermarket, except the items are police gear, like guns, vests, batons and such. As It is also lit similarly, with fluorescent light coming down in such a way as to confuse your sense of time. As I find myself wandering toward the back (my shift is over) the tall mustached man looks around for another rookie to take the next shift. No one comes forward and I volunteer myself again, which surprises him. When he mentions the shift (1AM-4PM) I realize for the first time how much time was elapsed in the helicopter, even though I have no memory all that time passing. He mentions to me that it is not necessary for me to take two shifts but I say that I am new and want to make a good impression. He says okay and we get back out into the field.
In the air, we find that the city has completely flooded. Only the tallest buildings reach out of the water, which is dark-black and violently choppy. There is no rain, and there is absolutely no data displayed on the cockpit windshield. As we are flying, a pinkish-red beam of light comes out of the thick storm clouds down onto the city. It stays for a moment then shrinks as the cloud obscures it and in that moment it looks beautiful. But then it cuts through the clouds again, stronger this time, until a very powerful beam of it shines down on a portion of the city, the only color in the grey sky. This makes us all nervous, and my fat partner jokes that it's heavenly but no one laughs. In the very distant distance, I can see what looks like birds circling down from the light through the clouds. But as we get closer, I realize they are angels, their wings raven-like and foreboding. They fly down in a circle get close enough to the water that the buildings obscure them. No one says anything.
As we gaze to the right side of the windscreen, we see another angel close up. She is beautiful and terrifying at the same time. She is enormous, easily bigger than the helicopter. Her facial features are immaculate, expressionless, and her body glows with the same pinkish-red light that comes from the unobstructed sky. She hovers just over the water, and a horrifying, beautifully-bladed tentacle extends from her palm, slowly eviscerating each building the way a knife carves into flesh, hollowing them out one by one until they completely collapse. There is no sound, yet I get the distinct feeling of human anguish and fear screaming into my mind. I turn to my left and see that the tall mustached man is gone and no one is flying the helicopter. I see my fat partner down in the water screaming "It's the fucking Rapture!" before being pulled under by something. I jump out of the copter and plummet into the water. Even though I know I am a good swimmer there is something about the water that makes it almost impossible even to tread it. I strain wildly just to keep my head above it when the angel notices me and extends her palm in my direction. Suddenly there is a flash of light and everything hits me at once.
The blond haired woman was my wife. She became very ill, and her slow motion death drove me crazy. In despair, I somehow by accident strangled her to death. This completely pushed me over the edge. I vividly see an image of her body hollowed out, and it is clear to me that I somehow preserved the flesh of her body. I would hold it stretched open with various meat hooks. At night, I would find women who were similar to her body size and kidnap them, forcing them to live in the skin and pretend to be her. When they were inside the skin it would look like my wife was possessed, rather than looking like a person in a costume. It somehow looked just right enough to be okay. When they would try to escape or fight me, I would strangle them and start over again. One night, one of the girls somehow managed to get the silver-haired FBI man to investigate my residence. As he discovered what was happening, he accidentally shot her while trying to kill me, which drove me into a rage as it ruined the skin. I ended up carving him up with a knife as he wounded me with his pistol. I cut him into pieces and then hid him under some stairs, then dressed in his clothes as his backup arrived. We were airlifted to a hospital when the people on the helicopter discovered who I was, and in a skirmish the copter crashed and I was thrown from it. Everything that I had seen before was a hallucination as I lay dying in some grass, and somehow I know the sound of the bees is actually the absence of my soul, and the flames are my destination. Before I woke up, I remember crying at the unfairness of it all.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
The dream opens up with me being airlifted by a helicopter to a hospital. It's clear to me somehow that it's not be who is dying but a woman who I am in love with. I can't get a clear picture of her face except in that she has blond hair. Something goes wrong and the helicopter crashes. I very vividly remember laying in warm, wet grass as I can hear the sound of bees and see flames from the fuel.
I come to and I am standing at a pool watching the interview of a police officer who I get the notion is technically a suspect but not really. They talk briefly and then we are all driven back to the hospital. I get the feeling that I'm the same man but I'm not. I don't know how to make it more clear. Some kind of conscious transference. I want to tell my captain but I'm afraid I will sound crazy. We find ourselves in a very dimly lit room, dank and seemingly disused. The air is thick and musty, and so dark that I can't see the corners of it. Myself, the captain, and the third officer are all there, along with a silver haired man who keeps shooting accusing glances at me. He is part of the FBI and though he says nothing, the look on his face is plain as day, but only to me. We talk about the blond haired woman as she lies in critical condition on a medical table. Strangely, there is no medical equipment in the room, just the table, which her body rests on underneath a white sheet. The FBI man and my captain continue talking about what may have happened for a while, before we leave and head back for the police station.
The next thing I know, I'm riding shotgun in a three seat police helicopter. It's morning, it's pouring rain, and we are landing the helicopter so that we can take a break. We take some time at a snack stand that is under an overpass. The lady never makes eye contact with me. My two partners seem nice, both older, one thin and tall with a very distinctive mustache, the other being the officer I met at the pool. I become aware that I am a trainee for the helicopter unit. I think for some reason that when we head back to the copter that I will have to sit in the pilot seat and demonstrate my knowledge. At this point, I don't know whether or not I actually can. I put my drink in the driver's cupholder, but then the tall man tells me to scoot over and I feel bad that he puts his drink in another spot and has to go through an elaborate process to reach it when he wants to drink. As we fly over this massive city in the pouring rain, the cockpit windshield is lit up with data about the various houses and establishments we pass over. I'm still not clear on exactly what our job is supposed to be. The fat cop jokes with me about thinking that I'm going to fly the copter based on where I put my drink, and I laugh sheepishly.
We are back at the police station, with aisles of equipment that resemble a supermarket, except the items are police gear, like guns, vests, batons and such. As It is also lit similarly, with fluorescent light coming down in such a way as to confuse your sense of time. As I find myself wandering toward the back (my shift is over) the tall mustached man looks around for another rookie to take the next shift. No one comes forward and I volunteer myself again, which surprises him. When he mentions the shift (1AM-4PM) I realize for the first time how much time was elapsed in the helicopter, even though I have no memory all that time passing. He mentions to me that it is not necessary for me to take two shifts but I say that I am new and want to make a good impression. He says okay and we get back out into the field.
In the air, we find that the city has completely flooded. Only the tallest buildings reach out of the water, which is dark-black and violently choppy. There is no rain, and there is absolutely no data displayed on the cockpit windshield. As we are flying, a pinkish-red beam of light comes out of the thick storm clouds down onto the city. It stays for a moment then shrinks as the cloud obscures it and in that moment it looks beautiful. But then it cuts through the clouds again, stronger this time, until a very powerful beam of it shines down on a portion of the city, the only color in the grey sky. This makes us all nervous, and my fat partner jokes that it's heavenly but no one laughs. In the very distant distance, I can see what looks like birds circling down from the light through the clouds. But as we get closer, I realize they are angels, their wings raven-like and foreboding. They fly down in a circle get close enough to the water that the buildings obscure them. No one says anything.
As we gaze to the right side of the windscreen, we see another angel close up. She is beautiful and terrifying at the same time. She is enormous, easily bigger than the helicopter. Her facial features are immaculate, expressionless, and her body glows with the same pinkish-red light that comes from the unobstructed sky. She hovers just over the water, and a horrifying, beautifully-bladed tentacle extends from her palm, slowly eviscerating each building the way a knife carves into flesh, hollowing them out one by one until they completely collapse. There is no sound, yet I get the distinct feeling of human anguish and fear screaming into my mind. I turn to my left and see that the tall mustached man is gone and no one is flying the helicopter. I see my fat partner down in the water screaming "It's the fucking Rapture!" before being pulled under by something. I jump out of the copter and plummet into the water. Even though I know I am a good swimmer there is something about the water that makes it almost impossible even to tread it. I strain wildly just to keep my head above it when the angel notices me and extends her palm in my direction. Suddenly there is a flash of light and everything hits me at once.
The blond haired woman was my wife. She became very ill, and her slow motion death drove me crazy. In despair, I somehow by accident strangled her to death. This completely pushed me over the edge. I vividly see an image of her body hollowed out, and it is clear to me that I somehow preserved the flesh of her body. I would hold it stretched open with various meat hooks. At night, I would find women who were similar to her body size and kidnap them, forcing them to live in the skin and pretend to be her. When they were inside the skin it would look like my wife was possessed, rather than looking like a person in a costume. It somehow looked just right enough to be okay. When they would try to escape or fight me, I would strangle them and start over again. One night, one of the girls somehow managed to get the silver-haired FBI man to investigate my residence. As he discovered what was happening, he accidentally shot her while trying to kill me, which drove me into a rage as it ruined the skin. I ended up carving him up with a knife as he wounded me with his pistol. I cut him into pieces and then hid him under some stairs, then dressed in his clothes as his backup arrived. We were airlifted to a hospital when the people on the helicopter discovered who I was, and in a skirmish the copter crashed and I was thrown from it. Everything that I had seen before was a hallucination as I lay dying in some grass, and somehow I know the sound of the bees is actually the absence of my soul, and the flames are my destination. Before I woke up, I remember crying at the unfairness of it all.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
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