Call of Duty 4 Achievements
So I decided on a whim to 100% COD4 like I did with Mass Effect. And similarly, I think it's going to take me about 200 fucking hours to do it. But not because it's a long game. It's only moderately long, but it's FUCKING RIDICULOUS. Veteran Mode should be called "Dry Anal Rape Mode". It's fucking AMAZINGLY difficult. Think between 5-20 enemies on screen constantly with perfect accuracy, who only have to zing you with three shots (and often times kill you with a headshot instantly) who are constantly respawning as you push forward. Towards the end of the game, you are easily fighting 30+ men at once with almost no cover and they have grenades, tanks and gun emplacements.
Let me paint a picture for you. It's the late 80s, and your mission is to assassinate the leader of a terrorist organization while he's making a deal with some Russians for nuclear material. It's just you and one hardcore motherfucker named MacMillan crawling across two miles into Prypiat, Ukraine (the site of the Chernobyl meltdown) in ghillie suits through multiple regiments of Russian soldiers. The rendering is pretty accurate to what the area and city actually look like. They really do an amazing job of recreating this actual area down to very tiny details. It's EXTREMELY Children of Men-esqe.
There is literally a sequence where tanks, helicopters, and soldiers are flying/walking/rolling right past you. You head through abandoned, bombed-out public buildings on your way to reach a highpoint in the city, an abandoned hotel. Many portions of this city are still radioactive at this time, and the last thing you want to do is run into an irradiated zone, so you have to take a very specific route through the city to be (relatively) safe.
Click each link to see these on Youtube in high def. It's much better.
The only thing I don't like about these vids is he did it the easy way instead of the legitimate way. I am posting these vids just to give you an idea of what the level looks like. This is the part where you a crawling through a battalion. CRAZY.
You reach it, where you set up a .50 cal sniper rifle and wait for 2 days for the meeting to happen. When the target shows up, You have to wait for the wind to be just right so that you don't miss because you have one chance and you are thousands of yards away. You take the shot and it completely shears off his left arm. But now you've alerted to Russians to your presence!
He missed the first shot.
I didn't.
Now you have to fast rope out of the building as the nearest attack helicopter starts dumping missiles into it, then fight/flee your way across 3 city blocks as soldiers chase through the streets and fast rope from helicopters literally all around you. Keep in mind that not only do you have to escape from all these men, but that you can't just run in any direction or you will run into a radioactive zone and pass out (which is the last thing you want to do) You run into a ravaged apartment complex to lose your pursuers but as you're heading into a courtyard, an attack copter spots you and both you and MacMillan (I took to calling him Diddy Mac) have to shoot the pilot with your sniper rifles before he tears you to shreds with his guns. The helicopter spins wildly out of control and ends up crashing to the ground in front of you. The rotor blades fly off and what is left of them ends up breaking one of Diddy Mac's legs as it is sliding to a stop.
The way he does it in this video is the glitch way, there are certain points where if you stand in them, people will not spawn or they will spawn slowly. When I did it, this entire parking lot was full of people who I had to shoot down and run and gun through.
Now you have to carry him for another four blocks through another regiment or two of soldiers, putting him on the ground so he can provide support fire, before you reach the extraction point, which you have a limited time to do as the helicopter is about to bingo out on fuel and will not have enough to come pick you up AND escape. You reach the clearing and you have about two minutes to set up Diddy Mac in a decent firing position and to booby trap the LZ (it's in an old fairgrounds clearing with a lot full of disused cars and a ferris wheel at one end) before the Russians find you again.
At this point you are easily seeing forty soldiers pouring out of the area you entered from, and helicopters coming four at a time to dump more troops on you. The troops from the helicopter move to flank you while the bulk of the army hits you dead on. It's you and Diddy Mac versus at least a hundred soldiers. You have to hold them off until the helicopter reaches you, then you have to carry Diddy Mac all the way across the lot through multiple crossfire zones and into the helicopter as troops from the back provide cover.
Again, the way he is doing this is glitchy. He is seeing about 1/4 of the amount of people I saw. Of course, I was sitting right next to Diddy Mac for the first part of the attack, and the second part I was ducking behind the Ferris Wheel. It took me a couple of hours because instead of hiding I had to just be a faster and better shot, which was CRAZY difficult.
And that's just one level.
If that sounds pretty cool or fun to you, you have no excuse to not play this game. The presentation is really fucking great, and even though Veteran is frustrating, I now look back on levels like that and feel like it is legitimately an accomplishment. This game certainly makes you feel like you're achieving the achievements. It's not just a matter of time and knowing how to work the game. You have to be a great shot, you have to move and think tactically, and you have to know exactly how to use all of your weapons. And you will STILL be killed countless times on each level pushing forward. Throughout the game, half of the people you play end up biting the big one, and you have to actually play out their deaths. It's a fucking well-made game.
Anyhow, I will list out what I've done and what that entailed. Why? Because I feel like it. I will skip the ones that just entail going through the game (like the achievement for clearing the tutorial.)
Look Sharp 20
Find 15 enemy intel items
Haven't done this one yet, it's like finding COG tags, boooorrrriinnnggg.
UPDATE: Just did this one.
Eyes and Ears 20
Find 30 enemy intel items
Same with this.
Down Boy Down 20
Survive a dog attack
This is not as easy as it sounds. When these stupid fucking dogs jump you, you have a small window in which to save yourself. You have to grab them by the neck as they lunge for your throat. Too soon, and you end up hugging the dog as it tears your throat out. Too late, and you end up watching the dog as it tears your throat out. I fucking hate dogs in this game.
New Squadron Record 20
Complete the cargo ship mockup in less than 20 seconds
This is a rough one. You have to clear a mock control center of three baddies, run downstairs, shoot one more, flashbang an entry way and kill another two, then turn and sprint through two rooms before shooting another two, banging another room, killing two more, and then sprinting out of the mockup across a warehouse to the finish, and all in under 20 seconds. I did it in 18.5, after numerous tries.
Rescue Roycewicz 20
Save Pvt. Roycewicz on the stairs
This guy gets jumped in the middle of a night ambush in a building by a man with a knife. You have to see him and shoot him off your teammate. Not really that hard, you just have to pay attention.
Your Show Sucks 20
Destroy all the TVs showing Al-Asad's speech
This one is fucking retarded. It necessitates finding over 100 televisions while assaulting a city in the Middle East (in Fictionullah, Fakeistan because they didn't want to portray an actual locale in this region)and shooting them. There is a television station where you must end up shooting at least 80 televisions. If you miss one? NO achievement!
Man of the People 10
Save the farmer
This one is tricky as a farmer is being accosted by 3 Russian soldiers. You have to pop all of them within three seconds or it's fission mailed.
Straight Flush 20
Kill 5 enemies with one shot while in the AC-130 gunship
This is an easy one. One of the guns on your gunship can literally level a two story building in one shot. You fire it, wait a couple seconds, and then watch a GIGANTIC debris cloud explode on the ground.
Ghillies In The Mist 20
Complete 'All Ghillied Up' without alerting any enemies
This is an achievement on the level previously mentioned. You have to crawl past or kill about 100 people without ever being spotted. On veteran, this one is scary as hell, because you will have soldiers literally stepping on your back.
Mile High Club 20
Sky dive to safety on Veteran difficulty
This one is FUCKING RIDICULOUS. I don't think I will ever fucking achieve it. Let me paint another picture for you. It's you and three men (basically useless) on a plane. You are sharing this plane with FIFTY TERRORISTS. You have to get from the aft of the plane to the cockpit and rescue a VIP hostage. And you have ONE MINUTE to get there. And when you get there, you have to kill the last guy WITH A HEADSHOT WITH A PISTOL or else do it all again. And as I mentioned before, on Veteran, two bullets will kill you, vest or not. AND YOU HAVE ONE FUCKING MINUTE!!!!!!!!
Seriously?!?
UPDATE: I fucking beat it after about 60 tries. What a NIGHTMARE.
No Rest for the Weary 10
Stab an injured crawling enemy
Self-explanitory.
Deep and Hard 90
Complete the game on Hardened or Veteran difficulty
I went deep AND hard. Actually I just went deep, I completely skipped Hardened, playing from regular mode straight to suicide mode.
The Package 40
Complete 'Crew Expendable' on Veteran difficulty
The Rescue 40
Complete 'Blackout' on Veteran difficulty
The Search 40
Complete 'Charlie Don't Surf' on Veteran difficulty
The Bog 40
Complete 'The Bog' and 'War Pig' on Veteran difficulty
The Escape 40
Complete 'Hunted' and 'Death From Above' on Veteran difficulty
The First Horseman 40
Complete 'Shock and Awe' on Veteran difficulty
The Second Horseman 40
Complete 'Safehouse' on Veteran difficulty
The Shot 40
Complete 'All Ghillied Up' and 'One Shot, One Kill' on Veteran difficulty
The Third Horseman 40
Complete 'Heat' and 'The Sins of the Father' on Veteran difficulty
The Ultimatum 40
Complete 'Ultimatum', 'All In', and 'No Fighting in the War Room' on Veteran difficulty
The Fourth Horseman 40
Complete 'Game Over' on Veteran difficulty
These are all the Veteran completion achievements, and much like the end of every episode of The Wire starting with season 2, you find yourself saying "Jesus fucking Christ" after you finish each of them.
Daredevil 10
Kill an enemy while blinded by a flashbang in the single player campaign
This one is more luck than skill. I guess at some point I got flashed and started firing like Rambo, just screaming and spraying in all directions. It's a good move to do in real life if you want to murder your squadmates.
Roadkill 10
Kill 2 enemies by blowing up a car in the single player campaign
Heh heh, this one time, a group of four soldiers decided to hide behind a car to provide cover, and I was in a overwatch position...and I had an RPG. Heh, heh.
Bird on the Ground 20
Shoot down an enemy helicopter with an RPG in the single player campaign
Heh heh, this one time, there was a soldier who rushed off of a fucked up bus with an RPG, trying to shoot it at the tank I was protecting, and I knifed his face, picked up his RPG, and shot down a helicopter that was deploying more troops on the ground. Heh, heh.
Three of a Kind 10
Kill 3 enemies in a row with your knife in the single player campaign
1! 2! 3 headshots! Ah ah ah.
Four of a Kind 20
Kill 4 enemies in a row with headshots in the single player campaign
4! 4 headshots! Ah ah ah.
All ridiculousness aside, you should play this game if you like shooting ever. It's on PC too if you really get your panties in a bunch. Now is the time to play it because the sequel is coming out in a couple months and THAT game is gonna be a fucking shootgasm.
UPDATE: I just did a full clear. This was fucking ridiculous.
Let me paint a picture for you. It's the late 80s, and your mission is to assassinate the leader of a terrorist organization while he's making a deal with some Russians for nuclear material. It's just you and one hardcore motherfucker named MacMillan crawling across two miles into Prypiat, Ukraine (the site of the Chernobyl meltdown) in ghillie suits through multiple regiments of Russian soldiers. The rendering is pretty accurate to what the area and city actually look like. They really do an amazing job of recreating this actual area down to very tiny details. It's EXTREMELY Children of Men-esqe.
There is literally a sequence where tanks, helicopters, and soldiers are flying/walking/rolling right past you. You head through abandoned, bombed-out public buildings on your way to reach a highpoint in the city, an abandoned hotel. Many portions of this city are still radioactive at this time, and the last thing you want to do is run into an irradiated zone, so you have to take a very specific route through the city to be (relatively) safe.
Click each link to see these on Youtube in high def. It's much better.
The only thing I don't like about these vids is he did it the easy way instead of the legitimate way. I am posting these vids just to give you an idea of what the level looks like. This is the part where you a crawling through a battalion. CRAZY.
You reach it, where you set up a .50 cal sniper rifle and wait for 2 days for the meeting to happen. When the target shows up, You have to wait for the wind to be just right so that you don't miss because you have one chance and you are thousands of yards away. You take the shot and it completely shears off his left arm. But now you've alerted to Russians to your presence!
He missed the first shot.
I didn't.
Now you have to fast rope out of the building as the nearest attack helicopter starts dumping missiles into it, then fight/flee your way across 3 city blocks as soldiers chase through the streets and fast rope from helicopters literally all around you. Keep in mind that not only do you have to escape from all these men, but that you can't just run in any direction or you will run into a radioactive zone and pass out (which is the last thing you want to do) You run into a ravaged apartment complex to lose your pursuers but as you're heading into a courtyard, an attack copter spots you and both you and MacMillan (I took to calling him Diddy Mac) have to shoot the pilot with your sniper rifles before he tears you to shreds with his guns. The helicopter spins wildly out of control and ends up crashing to the ground in front of you. The rotor blades fly off and what is left of them ends up breaking one of Diddy Mac's legs as it is sliding to a stop.
The way he does it in this video is the glitch way, there are certain points where if you stand in them, people will not spawn or they will spawn slowly. When I did it, this entire parking lot was full of people who I had to shoot down and run and gun through.
Now you have to carry him for another four blocks through another regiment or two of soldiers, putting him on the ground so he can provide support fire, before you reach the extraction point, which you have a limited time to do as the helicopter is about to bingo out on fuel and will not have enough to come pick you up AND escape. You reach the clearing and you have about two minutes to set up Diddy Mac in a decent firing position and to booby trap the LZ (it's in an old fairgrounds clearing with a lot full of disused cars and a ferris wheel at one end) before the Russians find you again.
At this point you are easily seeing forty soldiers pouring out of the area you entered from, and helicopters coming four at a time to dump more troops on you. The troops from the helicopter move to flank you while the bulk of the army hits you dead on. It's you and Diddy Mac versus at least a hundred soldiers. You have to hold them off until the helicopter reaches you, then you have to carry Diddy Mac all the way across the lot through multiple crossfire zones and into the helicopter as troops from the back provide cover.
Again, the way he is doing this is glitchy. He is seeing about 1/4 of the amount of people I saw. Of course, I was sitting right next to Diddy Mac for the first part of the attack, and the second part I was ducking behind the Ferris Wheel. It took me a couple of hours because instead of hiding I had to just be a faster and better shot, which was CRAZY difficult.
And that's just one level.
If that sounds pretty cool or fun to you, you have no excuse to not play this game. The presentation is really fucking great, and even though Veteran is frustrating, I now look back on levels like that and feel like it is legitimately an accomplishment. This game certainly makes you feel like you're achieving the achievements. It's not just a matter of time and knowing how to work the game. You have to be a great shot, you have to move and think tactically, and you have to know exactly how to use all of your weapons. And you will STILL be killed countless times on each level pushing forward. Throughout the game, half of the people you play end up biting the big one, and you have to actually play out their deaths. It's a fucking well-made game.
Anyhow, I will list out what I've done and what that entailed. Why? Because I feel like it. I will skip the ones that just entail going through the game (like the achievement for clearing the tutorial.)
Look Sharp 20
Find 15 enemy intel items
Haven't done this one yet, it's like finding COG tags, boooorrrriinnnggg.
UPDATE: Just did this one.
Eyes and Ears 20
Find 30 enemy intel items
Same with this.
Down Boy Down 20
Survive a dog attack
This is not as easy as it sounds. When these stupid fucking dogs jump you, you have a small window in which to save yourself. You have to grab them by the neck as they lunge for your throat. Too soon, and you end up hugging the dog as it tears your throat out. Too late, and you end up watching the dog as it tears your throat out. I fucking hate dogs in this game.
New Squadron Record 20
Complete the cargo ship mockup in less than 20 seconds
This is a rough one. You have to clear a mock control center of three baddies, run downstairs, shoot one more, flashbang an entry way and kill another two, then turn and sprint through two rooms before shooting another two, banging another room, killing two more, and then sprinting out of the mockup across a warehouse to the finish, and all in under 20 seconds. I did it in 18.5, after numerous tries.
Rescue Roycewicz 20
Save Pvt. Roycewicz on the stairs
This guy gets jumped in the middle of a night ambush in a building by a man with a knife. You have to see him and shoot him off your teammate. Not really that hard, you just have to pay attention.
Your Show Sucks 20
Destroy all the TVs showing Al-Asad's speech
This one is fucking retarded. It necessitates finding over 100 televisions while assaulting a city in the Middle East (in Fictionullah, Fakeistan because they didn't want to portray an actual locale in this region)and shooting them. There is a television station where you must end up shooting at least 80 televisions. If you miss one? NO achievement!
Man of the People 10
Save the farmer
This one is tricky as a farmer is being accosted by 3 Russian soldiers. You have to pop all of them within three seconds or it's fission mailed.
Straight Flush 20
Kill 5 enemies with one shot while in the AC-130 gunship
This is an easy one. One of the guns on your gunship can literally level a two story building in one shot. You fire it, wait a couple seconds, and then watch a GIGANTIC debris cloud explode on the ground.
Ghillies In The Mist 20
Complete 'All Ghillied Up' without alerting any enemies
This is an achievement on the level previously mentioned. You have to crawl past or kill about 100 people without ever being spotted. On veteran, this one is scary as hell, because you will have soldiers literally stepping on your back.
Mile High Club 20
Sky dive to safety on Veteran difficulty
This one is FUCKING RIDICULOUS. I don't think I will ever fucking achieve it. Let me paint another picture for you. It's you and three men (basically useless) on a plane. You are sharing this plane with FIFTY TERRORISTS. You have to get from the aft of the plane to the cockpit and rescue a VIP hostage. And you have ONE MINUTE to get there. And when you get there, you have to kill the last guy WITH A HEADSHOT WITH A PISTOL or else do it all again. And as I mentioned before, on Veteran, two bullets will kill you, vest or not. AND YOU HAVE ONE FUCKING MINUTE!!!!!!!!
Seriously?!?
UPDATE: I fucking beat it after about 60 tries. What a NIGHTMARE.
No Rest for the Weary 10
Stab an injured crawling enemy
Self-explanitory.
Deep and Hard 90
Complete the game on Hardened or Veteran difficulty
I went deep AND hard. Actually I just went deep, I completely skipped Hardened, playing from regular mode straight to suicide mode.
The Package 40
Complete 'Crew Expendable' on Veteran difficulty
The Rescue 40
Complete 'Blackout' on Veteran difficulty
The Search 40
Complete 'Charlie Don't Surf' on Veteran difficulty
The Bog 40
Complete 'The Bog' and 'War Pig' on Veteran difficulty
The Escape 40
Complete 'Hunted' and 'Death From Above' on Veteran difficulty
The First Horseman 40
Complete 'Shock and Awe' on Veteran difficulty
The Second Horseman 40
Complete 'Safehouse' on Veteran difficulty
The Shot 40
Complete 'All Ghillied Up' and 'One Shot, One Kill' on Veteran difficulty
The Third Horseman 40
Complete 'Heat' and 'The Sins of the Father' on Veteran difficulty
The Ultimatum 40
Complete 'Ultimatum', 'All In', and 'No Fighting in the War Room' on Veteran difficulty
The Fourth Horseman 40
Complete 'Game Over' on Veteran difficulty
These are all the Veteran completion achievements, and much like the end of every episode of The Wire starting with season 2, you find yourself saying "Jesus fucking Christ" after you finish each of them.
Daredevil 10
Kill an enemy while blinded by a flashbang in the single player campaign
This one is more luck than skill. I guess at some point I got flashed and started firing like Rambo, just screaming and spraying in all directions. It's a good move to do in real life if you want to murder your squadmates.
Roadkill 10
Kill 2 enemies by blowing up a car in the single player campaign
Heh heh, this one time, a group of four soldiers decided to hide behind a car to provide cover, and I was in a overwatch position...and I had an RPG. Heh, heh.
Bird on the Ground 20
Shoot down an enemy helicopter with an RPG in the single player campaign
Heh heh, this one time, there was a soldier who rushed off of a fucked up bus with an RPG, trying to shoot it at the tank I was protecting, and I knifed his face, picked up his RPG, and shot down a helicopter that was deploying more troops on the ground. Heh, heh.
Three of a Kind 10
Kill 3 enemies in a row with your knife in the single player campaign
1! 2! 3 headshots! Ah ah ah.
Four of a Kind 20
Kill 4 enemies in a row with headshots in the single player campaign
4! 4 headshots! Ah ah ah.
All ridiculousness aside, you should play this game if you like shooting ever. It's on PC too if you really get your panties in a bunch. Now is the time to play it because the sequel is coming out in a couple months and THAT game is gonna be a fucking shootgasm.
UPDATE: I just did a full clear. This was fucking ridiculous.
Comments
Why would you decide to do all of this? Why are you randomly deciding to game marathon some title like this? I feel like you got cooler stuff to do. This is so much it's confusing me. Did you look at your post after typing it?
I love you and I don't want to tell your new girlfriend you died with an x-box controller in your hand/ I don't want her to tell me that.