God? There Is No GOOOOOODDDD!

God Blessed Me By Having Me Raped

Yes I know you may be wonder bout what I wrote in that there title. But you red right! There been alot of talk down at Long Branch bout Sarah Palin. And if one more fellow tell me what he want to do with her in the sheets I gonna SCREAM. But a gal I was playing pool with was telling me she ain’t never vote for Palin cause Palin think women that U.S.E.ed should be made to have the U.S.E. baby.

I was a durn coward. I just sip my beer and sank the ball. But I chould NOT get to the powder room face enuf to find a stall and boo-hoo my dang eyes out!!!!

Most of you all know my testimony. I ain’t a gal with secrets! If the Lord know it — you all may well to. But their is something deep in my heart I ain’t never share with no one (accept a former freind that will GO NAMELESS cause she ain’t NO FRIEND to any body cept a little zipperloc bag full of nose candy!)

When I was in my early 30’s but looked much younger the Lord sent a enormous Blackman to U.S.E. me. Now I had been U.S.E.ed before but this U.S.E. was special. I did not realize it at the time. But I do now. I do after last night.

You see this was the ONLY U.S.E. that I keep the baby. Not cause I wanted to. Lord no! But I was doing alot of very STRONG drugs back then. Done judge me on that — I have been forgiven. So I did not get round to going to the clinic till I was too far gone.

So God blessed me with the cute little half-pickaninny you see up in that photo (the ONLY photo I got of that U.S.E. baby).

When I got home last nite I dug up that there photo and cry my eyes out!!!!!!

It was not till now that I realized that the Lord was giving me an adorable U.S.E. baby as a GIFT — NOT A PUNISHMENT!!!!

If only I know that then. I never whould have left that U.S.E. baby in the liquor store and drove off.

I have been forgive for all of that but I still am Chrsitian enuf to worry bout that cute U.S.E. baby and hope that life has been kind and that God blesses it.

She was raped by Principal Blackman?


This is so gold, I don't even have to tear it apart. I feel the awe-inspiring power of this noble young woman's words might be weakened if I deigned to examine them further. Awful spelling aside, what's a U.S.E.? I'm glad you asked, horrified reader.

Sam Brownback - "Rape is terrible. Rape is awful. Is it made any better by killing an innocent child? Does it solve the problem for the woman that’s been raped?" No!

Sam Brownback - "We need to protect innocent life. Period." Amen! And at any cost.

Sam Brownback is was the inspiration for this grassroots campaign called, "Cry USE not RAPE". We have concluded that the acronym U.S.E. (Unplanned Sexual Event), when used regularly to replace the word "rape", will remove the stigma associated with this sometimes unpleasant situation. It is our mission to protect the innocent lives of the babies that are part of His plan and eliminate the excuses given by many women when a precious baby just isn't convienient.

Frank Bryant and his lovely wife Lynelle have graciously agreed to Chair the USE committee at our church. Frank is a 10 year Deacon of the church and owns a chain of Christian bookstores located in the South Eastern USA. Lynelle, my life long sister in Christ, stays busy raising their five boys and is the Owner/Operator of a Christian Day Spa in our community. Both Frank and Lynelle have been very active in the Pro-Life movement on a regional level and bring much experience to the USE outreach ministry.

In July we will be hosting our very first Freedom Toast Breakfast to officially launch the U.S.E. Campaign. We are pleased to announce that so far there are 46 other Baptist churches in the Southeast committed to hosting a similar event. Our goal is to have a Freedom Toast Breakfast with Sam Brownback as our guest of Honor and over 1,000 congregations supporting this effort by years end. So far Sam brownback hasn’t made an appearance at one of our breakfasts but we are hoping. We will keep you posted as progress is made. Your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.

Vote Republican in 2008 and again in 2012! Jesus Forever!

Remember kids, God isn't turning a blind eye to rape. He's giving presents! So give that friendly ski-mask clad man a smile. He's just delivering God's love into your vagina, angrily. While speaking in tongues. And giving you herpes. It somehow comforts me to know that in all likelihood, these people all vote on a regular basis. Thank Jesus for that. No wonder video games get attacked so much. If a thousands year old book is THIS influential over idiots, who knows what modern technology will do to their feeble minds? One reels at the horror of such thoughts.

Admit it Doug. If you haven't heard of this already, you're laughing your ass off right now.