For The Love Of GOD

Shane Victorino's abiding love for Spam dish angers PETA

I say that because the Phillies centerfielder has finally become enough of a public figure to draw the ire of PETA, a fine group of folks who never met a publicity opportunity they didn't take advantage of.

So what did Victorino do to earn a scolding note from PETA assistant director Dan Shannon?

Well, he has publicly declared that Spam musubi is his favorite food in the entire world. Even though many of us have an aversion to the blue-and-yellow can, the pork product-'n-rice treat is actually very popular in Victorino's native Hawaii.

"We suspect that the cruelty in every can of Spam will infuriate Shane more than a high Hiroki Kuroda fastball," says Shannon. "If Shane likes Spam a lot, he should buy tickets to the Broadway play but leave it off his dinner plate."

PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DYING, YOU CUNT. And you're making a Spamalot joke because a fucking Hawaiian likes Spam? Please do us a favor and give us your best R. Budd Dwyer imitation, you fucking detritus.



If you can't tell, today isn't a good day.

EDIT: The screenshot of the video says, "Yes, it's a gun." What do you THINK is going to happen?

Comments

Anonymous said…
Fuck you, why would you post that.

Ugh, I can't believe I just saw that.
Bryan said…
It's a celebrated piece in the OnA community.
Travis said…
"It's a celebrated piece in the OnA community."

Read this back to yourself please.
Anonymous said…
its interesting how different the real stuff looks from the tv and movie stuff. if that was a tv show or movie the wall behind him would have been covered in blood.
Bryan said…
That was a .357 too. And that stupid death face, that's how people will remember him.

And yes, I told you the OnA crowd loves sick shit. I've probably heard 35 R. Budd Dwyer jokes at various points since getting into the a year or so ago.

By the way, can you guess what else happened on the day he did this? That's right, I was born.
Travis said…
Omg, that's ridiculous.

But yeah, he died looking like one chump ass motherfucker.

It's like his face was popped.
Bryan said…
They were making jokes about some of the things the Big Bopper liked, which included Buddy Holly's ear getting embedded into the back of his skull, as they played, "What I Like" or whatever it's called. Hilarious.
Anonymous said…
It's all Lucio's fault.

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