Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc.
MIDDLE EAST—With the Iraq war in its fifth year, the war in Afghanistan in its sixth, and conflict between Israel and the rest of the region continuing unabated for more than half a century, intelligence sources are warning that a new wave of violence in the Middle East may soon blah blah blah, etc. etc., you know the rest.
Yet another act of violence in response to something else terrible that occurred in, oh, let's say Basra.
"Tensions in the region are extremely high," said U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker, who added the same old same old while answering reporters' questions. "We're
disappointed by the events of the last few months, but we're confident that we're about to [yakety yakety yak]."
The U.N. has issued a strongly worded whatever denouncing someone or something presumably having to do with the vicious explosive things that raged across this, or shattered the predawn calm of that, or ripped suddenly through the other, killing umpteen innocent civilians in a Jerusalem bus or Beirut discotheque or Fallujah mosque or whatever it was this time.
Either a car bomb killed people or a car hit a roadside bomb, killing people.
In the aftermath of a whole series of incidents, there have also been troubling reports of just fill in the blanks. Middle East experts say the still somehow worsening situation has inflamed age-old sectarian tensions between the Sunnis, Shiites, Semites, Kurds, Turks, Saudis, Persians, Wahhabis, radicals, extremists, Baathists, mullahs, clerics, et al, which is likely to lead to more gurgle-gurgle over the coming weeks and months.
A certain number of U.S. troops were also killed somewhere in some tragic fashion, while a much greater number were wounded. Meanwhile, impoverished or oppressed supporters of whichever faction carried out the attack or ambush probably celebrated, angering an angry U.S. public that is already angry. Locals are calling for an investigation into excessive force or outright corruption by military or political officials on one of the 15 sides of the various conflicts, although the implicated party has categorically denied wrongdoing, just like they always do, without fail, every time this happens, which is daily, it seems.
And in Afghanistan, the Taliban.
In Israel, Palestinians and Israelis escalated tensions and so on and so on ad infinitum, ad eternum, and some say, ad absurdum, and although Hamas released a statement condemning Israeli forces for the resulting civilian deaths, Israeli officials say the teens were armed with rocket launchers, though it doesn't really matter.
Also, Ahmadinejad, Iran's nuclear program, bin Laden at large, Moqtada al-Sadr, Moqtada al-Sadr's militia, Fallujah, renegade mullahs, embedded and/or beheaded journalists, oil revenues, stockpiles of former Soviet armaments, freedom, racism, Halliburton, women's role in Islamic society, the Quran, withdrawing troops, economic disparities, Sikhs, Pakistanis, oil, rebuilding, stories of hope, the Saudi royal family, the Holy Land, insurgents, and the tragedy of Sept. 11th.
In an attempt to increase public support of whatever the fuck it is he thinks he's doing, President Bush trotted out the same old whoop-de-do you've heard over and over at a solemn-yet-resolute speech attended by soldiers, or religious leaders, or firemen, or some mix of ethnic-looking people from one of those countries.
"We have to give this plan time to wop bop a loo bop, a wop bam boom, ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang," President Bush may as well have said. "May God [help/bless/save] the United States of America."
This is obviously a joke from The Onion, but this is the first article I read that actually put in words exactly what I feel about this war. I spent more time going, "No kidding" than laughing. I stopped watching the news a long time ago because of this. I'll read it at work on occasion, sure, but with exceptions to huge events like VA Tech, I have no idea what's happening in this country. Truth be told, I don't have the energy to deal with news shows that I've seen to be opportunistic and sensationalizing. Hey, if nothing of impact happens today, don't invent news. And worse, don't inflate the hell out of news, that drives me crazy. The problem is that news depends on ratings. Now I know of course that that's the way of television, but wouldn't you err on the side of sensational if it kept your job? Still, the trifecta of 2007: Imus, VA Tech, and this goddamn war have driven me to the brink. The Imus thing was ridiculous. I don't know why Al Sharpton has as much credibility as he does; he's like a one-man Inquisition. For those of you under a rock, Don Imus (who's been saying nasty things about everyone on the face of the Earth on his radio show for the past 40 years) was talking about women's college basketball. He saw a picture of the two teams in the finals, the Rutgers and Tennessee, when he said that the girls from the Rutgers (black and white girls) looked "rough," like some "nappy-headed hos." Now first of all, he's not the first person to say something like this on the radio. Troi Torain (AKA "Star") called someone who called in a "nappy-headed nigger whore." Did he get kicked off the air, or destroy the life of the caller? No, of course not. Give you one guess as to why. Who the hell voted Al Sharpton the Emperor of Black People, by the way? Did I miss that election? Don Imus is an old man. The context of the conversation clearly shows that he's just an old guy trying to use what he considers current language to stay relevant. Was it funny? I don't think so. But was it so offensive that it destroyed the lives of the Rutgers' players (their own words)? Give me a break. I've heard worse on the radio every single day. The goddamn law of the land does not protect your right to not have your feelings hurt. Sorry. And Al Sharpton is way too much of a hypocrite to be spearheading a campaign against racism, but I'll let you make up your own mind. When Snoop Dawg chimed in and claimed defensively that the same rules can't be applied to rap, the hypocrisy rose to a new level of unbearable. Then came ALL the writers from every news source imaginable supporting this craziness, like nappy is the new n-bomb. They immediately got in the moral ivory tower, how dare Imus do this, how dare he be insensitive, blah blah blah. Don Imus has been doing the same thing for over four decades. Did the previous 14,600 shows just slip under the radar? Listen, I come from a family that is EXTREMELY sensitive to racially-charged anything. My mom once made me walk home five miles because I wouldn't change an answering machine message my friend made for me that had the n-bomb in it. This is beyond insane. The way radio works (or should work) is like this: If you don't like what you hear, turn it off. How many Rutgers do you think were avid Don Imus fans before His Majesty so gracefully informed them? And by the way, Al Sharpton made Imus apologize to his daughter, who isn't even a Rutger and had nothing to do with it! How people can take something said about a team, make it into a blanket statement about a single race, and then hang a guy for what they made it into is the definition of crazy. This is not an issue of racism, never was, but it became an issue of free speech. People who say "Well you're free to voice your opinion, but" are full of shit. This isn't yelling fire in a crowded theatre. This isn't someone trying to incite violence. Freedom with consequences is not actually freedom. If that were true, we would have no laws, just consequences. If you shoot someone in the face, you go to jail, therefore you do not have the right to do it. Same applies to speech, it's not free if there's a punishment attached. It sickens me that in today's society such a blatant, de facto attack on the First Amendment is welcomed with so many open arms. Sure, it's not exactly legislation, but it's not progress either. Thanks, Your Highness, you've single-handedly set back racial relations twenty years. In many ways, ironically and tragically, we were saved from this whole ridiculous crusade by a real tragedy - the VA Tech shootings.
If Don Imus thought he was screwed by a slow news week, he was even more screwed by the crazy news week that followed, as the backlash that would have inevitably mustered in his favor was drowned in a wave of news from Virginia. The same news organizations that hung Don Imus for insensitivity were now putting the face of a killer and his thoughts, ramblings and "manifesto" on TV every hour of every day, essentially giving him the exact coverage he wanted and inspiring God knows how many copycats for the next generation of these shootings. This was all of course spearheaded by NBC. Thanks media, for being such a shining beacon of moral constitution and integrity. Then they had the audacity to do news stories about how the VA Tech students and staff wanted to be left alone! I'm glad nappy and ho are unacceptable, but the face and declarations of an egotistical douche bag killer is fair game. I'd love to see the next one of these killers send a package to NBC thanking them for the inspiration. And why is it that you will assassinate Don Imus' character all day but I have yet to hear one ill word about the kid who shot 32 innocent people to death? What's the matter, can't spoil the meal ticket? Afraid you're going to offend someone by calling this selfish jackass out? Don't you think that if when the news covered these events, they managed to character assassinate the hell out of these killers that there might be less of them? "John Doe, waking up to another day as an abject human failure, entered the classroom and murdered people who did him zero harm for no reason other than to justify his own pathetic, self-induced delusions of pain and reckoning. He then made a video asking the same people if they had ever been tortured or set on fire or crucified, none of which he himself had ever faced. Then he shot himself in the face like a pussy. What a jackass. We have no sympathy for him and neither should you. Also, he was a gay pedophile who believed in late term abortions. He's scheduled to be buried next month at the Pinecrest Hill Cemetery, where we strongly encourage you to urinate on his grave and vandalize his tombstone." If the news can twist stories to be more sensational, why don't they do it to make these people look more foolish? Now I'm sure the police can't be held accountable in this situation; there were only two hours between the two shootings. Their original theory was, get this, that it was a murder suicide, and the killer fled the state. No, not one or the other, both. They thought he killed himself, then fled the state. Remind me again why you get our tax dollars. Thank God guns aren't allowed on or near campus, because we all know guns are evil and more guns = more evil. I'm getting so sick of how completely unable Americans seem to be to adapt nowadays. These tragedies just keep happening, and we still don't have a way to handle it. We use hostage situation protocol in every single one of these shootings, which is fine, except it's not a hostage situation. Standing outside is not going to keep the attacker from being further provoked because there aren't going to be negotiations in the first place; they are there to take lives. So instead of busting in, our boys in blue stand outside and wait for the smoke to clear. And when are we going to put open ends on the goddamn panic bars on these doors? I'm speaking of the doors that the killer locked shut with a chain. The handles, called panic bars, shouldn't have a closed end on the inside end, because then you can wrap a chain around them and keep the doors from being opened from the outside. Wow, look, I just saved money and lives! I'd also like to know where the hell the parents were. Forget blaming counselors, teachers, et al. As Adam Carolla so aptly put it, his crazy cement had already dried years before, and I'm interested in seeing the person who put their signature in it. This bastard had problems for years before this attack happened. Where were the parents? You can't tell me clinical depression and flat effect just slips under the radar. Either you're abusive bastards, or the most neglectful parents ever. So which is it? Are you idiots or assholes? You tell me. Thank God we have Stone Phillips looking into Richard McBeef instead of being a real journalist, I'm far more interested in this idiot's preschool-level scribblings than I am a way to keep things like this from happening again in the future.
Speaking of important news, it's a good thing we're covering the 32 deaths in Virginia constantly instead of giving some time to some tired news like the hundreds of deaths in Iraq. I mean jeez, talk about insignificant, this war has only lasted longer than World War II and racked up thousands of American casualties. I can't wait until my brother is counted amongst the casualties so this can really hit home. Can't fucking wait. Thank you for getting us into this George, it's really made us so much safer. By the way, why does is it seem like the only freaking presidents that ever get assassinated are damn democrats? That hardly seems fair. The article above (the one that carried the original point of this post) perfectly encapsulates what's wrong with this war. Nothing ever changes. The only changes day to day are whose blood gets spilled. It's the same shit every day, we're nowhere near close to peace; at least our soldiers are dying by the handfuls for all this progress. The Onion makes jokes about this every day; that our exit strategy involve going through Iran, stuff like that. But as I watch yet another idiot in this administration get a light shined onto his questionable activities (This time it's Alberto Gonzales), I can't help but get a sour taste in my mouth. I was raised by a bleeding heart democrat liberal, but I consider myself a slightly conservative-leaning moderate. I rolled my eyes in history class when my teacher played semantics about what "oral relations" with our previous president meant. For the record, I'd rather have a president whose major sin is infidelity than one who's as faithful as he is useless and ineffectual. My problems have nothing to do with the fact that the administration is Republican and everything to do with the fact that it's irreparably stupid. I'm willing to concede that maybe I'm just paying more attention to this administration because I'm older; maybe Clinton had just as many incompetents. If that were truly the case, I'd have a hard time believing that America got as far as it has. It really isn't funny anymore. We shouldn't live in a society where people don't want to hear what our president, our country's top representative, has to say. I get irritated by his voice, by his excuses and his mannerisms almost instantaneously. I'm sick of the press dinners where he makes light of the corruption, incompetence and mountains of mistakes that his people make every day. If you worked at my job, you would have been fired way before your second term started. And you wouldn't even have to get the entire warehouse crew, office workers, and field personnel killed to get there either.
Yet another act of violence in response to something else terrible that occurred in, oh, let's say Basra.
"Tensions in the region are extremely high," said U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker, who added the same old same old while answering reporters' questions. "We're
disappointed by the events of the last few months, but we're confident that we're about to [yakety yakety yak]."
The U.N. has issued a strongly worded whatever denouncing someone or something presumably having to do with the vicious explosive things that raged across this, or shattered the predawn calm of that, or ripped suddenly through the other, killing umpteen innocent civilians in a Jerusalem bus or Beirut discotheque or Fallujah mosque or whatever it was this time.
Either a car bomb killed people or a car hit a roadside bomb, killing people.
In the aftermath of a whole series of incidents, there have also been troubling reports of just fill in the blanks. Middle East experts say the still somehow worsening situation has inflamed age-old sectarian tensions between the Sunnis, Shiites, Semites, Kurds, Turks, Saudis, Persians, Wahhabis, radicals, extremists, Baathists, mullahs, clerics, et al, which is likely to lead to more gurgle-gurgle over the coming weeks and months.
A certain number of U.S. troops were also killed somewhere in some tragic fashion, while a much greater number were wounded. Meanwhile, impoverished or oppressed supporters of whichever faction carried out the attack or ambush probably celebrated, angering an angry U.S. public that is already angry. Locals are calling for an investigation into excessive force or outright corruption by military or political officials on one of the 15 sides of the various conflicts, although the implicated party has categorically denied wrongdoing, just like they always do, without fail, every time this happens, which is daily, it seems.
And in Afghanistan, the Taliban.
In Israel, Palestinians and Israelis escalated tensions and so on and so on ad infinitum, ad eternum, and some say, ad absurdum, and although Hamas released a statement condemning Israeli forces for the resulting civilian deaths, Israeli officials say the teens were armed with rocket launchers, though it doesn't really matter.
Also, Ahmadinejad, Iran's nuclear program, bin Laden at large, Moqtada al-Sadr, Moqtada al-Sadr's militia, Fallujah, renegade mullahs, embedded and/or beheaded journalists, oil revenues, stockpiles of former Soviet armaments, freedom, racism, Halliburton, women's role in Islamic society, the Quran, withdrawing troops, economic disparities, Sikhs, Pakistanis, oil, rebuilding, stories of hope, the Saudi royal family, the Holy Land, insurgents, and the tragedy of Sept. 11th.
In an attempt to increase public support of whatever the fuck it is he thinks he's doing, President Bush trotted out the same old whoop-de-do you've heard over and over at a solemn-yet-resolute speech attended by soldiers, or religious leaders, or firemen, or some mix of ethnic-looking people from one of those countries.
"We have to give this plan time to wop bop a loo bop, a wop bam boom, ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang," President Bush may as well have said. "May God [help/bless/save] the United States of America."
This is obviously a joke from The Onion, but this is the first article I read that actually put in words exactly what I feel about this war. I spent more time going, "No kidding" than laughing. I stopped watching the news a long time ago because of this. I'll read it at work on occasion, sure, but with exceptions to huge events like VA Tech, I have no idea what's happening in this country. Truth be told, I don't have the energy to deal with news shows that I've seen to be opportunistic and sensationalizing. Hey, if nothing of impact happens today, don't invent news. And worse, don't inflate the hell out of news, that drives me crazy. The problem is that news depends on ratings. Now I know of course that that's the way of television, but wouldn't you err on the side of sensational if it kept your job? Still, the trifecta of 2007: Imus, VA Tech, and this goddamn war have driven me to the brink. The Imus thing was ridiculous. I don't know why Al Sharpton has as much credibility as he does; he's like a one-man Inquisition. For those of you under a rock, Don Imus (who's been saying nasty things about everyone on the face of the Earth on his radio show for the past 40 years) was talking about women's college basketball. He saw a picture of the two teams in the finals, the Rutgers and Tennessee, when he said that the girls from the Rutgers (black and white girls) looked "rough," like some "nappy-headed hos." Now first of all, he's not the first person to say something like this on the radio. Troi Torain (AKA "Star") called someone who called in a "nappy-headed nigger whore." Did he get kicked off the air, or destroy the life of the caller? No, of course not. Give you one guess as to why. Who the hell voted Al Sharpton the Emperor of Black People, by the way? Did I miss that election? Don Imus is an old man. The context of the conversation clearly shows that he's just an old guy trying to use what he considers current language to stay relevant. Was it funny? I don't think so. But was it so offensive that it destroyed the lives of the Rutgers' players (their own words)? Give me a break. I've heard worse on the radio every single day. The goddamn law of the land does not protect your right to not have your feelings hurt. Sorry. And Al Sharpton is way too much of a hypocrite to be spearheading a campaign against racism, but I'll let you make up your own mind. When Snoop Dawg chimed in and claimed defensively that the same rules can't be applied to rap, the hypocrisy rose to a new level of unbearable. Then came ALL the writers from every news source imaginable supporting this craziness, like nappy is the new n-bomb. They immediately got in the moral ivory tower, how dare Imus do this, how dare he be insensitive, blah blah blah. Don Imus has been doing the same thing for over four decades. Did the previous 14,600 shows just slip under the radar? Listen, I come from a family that is EXTREMELY sensitive to racially-charged anything. My mom once made me walk home five miles because I wouldn't change an answering machine message my friend made for me that had the n-bomb in it. This is beyond insane. The way radio works (or should work) is like this: If you don't like what you hear, turn it off. How many Rutgers do you think were avid Don Imus fans before His Majesty so gracefully informed them? And by the way, Al Sharpton made Imus apologize to his daughter, who isn't even a Rutger and had nothing to do with it! How people can take something said about a team, make it into a blanket statement about a single race, and then hang a guy for what they made it into is the definition of crazy. This is not an issue of racism, never was, but it became an issue of free speech. People who say "Well you're free to voice your opinion, but" are full of shit. This isn't yelling fire in a crowded theatre. This isn't someone trying to incite violence. Freedom with consequences is not actually freedom. If that were true, we would have no laws, just consequences. If you shoot someone in the face, you go to jail, therefore you do not have the right to do it. Same applies to speech, it's not free if there's a punishment attached. It sickens me that in today's society such a blatant, de facto attack on the First Amendment is welcomed with so many open arms. Sure, it's not exactly legislation, but it's not progress either. Thanks, Your Highness, you've single-handedly set back racial relations twenty years. In many ways, ironically and tragically, we were saved from this whole ridiculous crusade by a real tragedy - the VA Tech shootings.
If Don Imus thought he was screwed by a slow news week, he was even more screwed by the crazy news week that followed, as the backlash that would have inevitably mustered in his favor was drowned in a wave of news from Virginia. The same news organizations that hung Don Imus for insensitivity were now putting the face of a killer and his thoughts, ramblings and "manifesto" on TV every hour of every day, essentially giving him the exact coverage he wanted and inspiring God knows how many copycats for the next generation of these shootings. This was all of course spearheaded by NBC. Thanks media, for being such a shining beacon of moral constitution and integrity. Then they had the audacity to do news stories about how the VA Tech students and staff wanted to be left alone! I'm glad nappy and ho are unacceptable, but the face and declarations of an egotistical douche bag killer is fair game. I'd love to see the next one of these killers send a package to NBC thanking them for the inspiration. And why is it that you will assassinate Don Imus' character all day but I have yet to hear one ill word about the kid who shot 32 innocent people to death? What's the matter, can't spoil the meal ticket? Afraid you're going to offend someone by calling this selfish jackass out? Don't you think that if when the news covered these events, they managed to character assassinate the hell out of these killers that there might be less of them? "John Doe, waking up to another day as an abject human failure, entered the classroom and murdered people who did him zero harm for no reason other than to justify his own pathetic, self-induced delusions of pain and reckoning. He then made a video asking the same people if they had ever been tortured or set on fire or crucified, none of which he himself had ever faced. Then he shot himself in the face like a pussy. What a jackass. We have no sympathy for him and neither should you. Also, he was a gay pedophile who believed in late term abortions. He's scheduled to be buried next month at the Pinecrest Hill Cemetery, where we strongly encourage you to urinate on his grave and vandalize his tombstone." If the news can twist stories to be more sensational, why don't they do it to make these people look more foolish? Now I'm sure the police can't be held accountable in this situation; there were only two hours between the two shootings. Their original theory was, get this, that it was a murder suicide, and the killer fled the state. No, not one or the other, both. They thought he killed himself, then fled the state. Remind me again why you get our tax dollars. Thank God guns aren't allowed on or near campus, because we all know guns are evil and more guns = more evil. I'm getting so sick of how completely unable Americans seem to be to adapt nowadays. These tragedies just keep happening, and we still don't have a way to handle it. We use hostage situation protocol in every single one of these shootings, which is fine, except it's not a hostage situation. Standing outside is not going to keep the attacker from being further provoked because there aren't going to be negotiations in the first place; they are there to take lives. So instead of busting in, our boys in blue stand outside and wait for the smoke to clear. And when are we going to put open ends on the goddamn panic bars on these doors? I'm speaking of the doors that the killer locked shut with a chain. The handles, called panic bars, shouldn't have a closed end on the inside end, because then you can wrap a chain around them and keep the doors from being opened from the outside. Wow, look, I just saved money and lives! I'd also like to know where the hell the parents were. Forget blaming counselors, teachers, et al. As Adam Carolla so aptly put it, his crazy cement had already dried years before, and I'm interested in seeing the person who put their signature in it. This bastard had problems for years before this attack happened. Where were the parents? You can't tell me clinical depression and flat effect just slips under the radar. Either you're abusive bastards, or the most neglectful parents ever. So which is it? Are you idiots or assholes? You tell me. Thank God we have Stone Phillips looking into Richard McBeef instead of being a real journalist, I'm far more interested in this idiot's preschool-level scribblings than I am a way to keep things like this from happening again in the future.
Speaking of important news, it's a good thing we're covering the 32 deaths in Virginia constantly instead of giving some time to some tired news like the hundreds of deaths in Iraq. I mean jeez, talk about insignificant, this war has only lasted longer than World War II and racked up thousands of American casualties. I can't wait until my brother is counted amongst the casualties so this can really hit home. Can't fucking wait. Thank you for getting us into this George, it's really made us so much safer. By the way, why does is it seem like the only freaking presidents that ever get assassinated are damn democrats? That hardly seems fair. The article above (the one that carried the original point of this post) perfectly encapsulates what's wrong with this war. Nothing ever changes. The only changes day to day are whose blood gets spilled. It's the same shit every day, we're nowhere near close to peace; at least our soldiers are dying by the handfuls for all this progress. The Onion makes jokes about this every day; that our exit strategy involve going through Iran, stuff like that. But as I watch yet another idiot in this administration get a light shined onto his questionable activities (This time it's Alberto Gonzales), I can't help but get a sour taste in my mouth. I was raised by a bleeding heart democrat liberal, but I consider myself a slightly conservative-leaning moderate. I rolled my eyes in history class when my teacher played semantics about what "oral relations" with our previous president meant. For the record, I'd rather have a president whose major sin is infidelity than one who's as faithful as he is useless and ineffectual. My problems have nothing to do with the fact that the administration is Republican and everything to do with the fact that it's irreparably stupid. I'm willing to concede that maybe I'm just paying more attention to this administration because I'm older; maybe Clinton had just as many incompetents. If that were truly the case, I'd have a hard time believing that America got as far as it has. It really isn't funny anymore. We shouldn't live in a society where people don't want to hear what our president, our country's top representative, has to say. I get irritated by his voice, by his excuses and his mannerisms almost instantaneously. I'm sick of the press dinners where he makes light of the corruption, incompetence and mountains of mistakes that his people make every day. If you worked at my job, you would have been fired way before your second term started. And you wouldn't even have to get the entire warehouse crew, office workers, and field personnel killed to get there either.
