Stuff
Jabba's Spawn
This is a page devoted to people of the 900 club. It's a most exclusive club consisting only of the dead or near dead.
Videos I've never seen
Collection of old music videos. Most from bands I've never heard of, much less seen. Be warned. It's in Russian.
It's Latin to me
It might as well be. Fun as hell and useful or not, it's a great resource.
Do you ever feel dumb?
Now you can join me in feeling dumber.
Dumb and Dumber
And as many of you know, or may not know, I frequent the somethingawful forums and have come across some beautiful gems.
Such as:
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I, like many people, like to think of myself as at least a fairly decent bullshitter, and an opportunity to recalibrate my bullshit generator came along tonight. A friend of mine sent me the lyrics to a song which, I believe, might have gained some popularity among the general public.
The title of the song was, "Get Low," and it appears to have been written by a composer going by the nom de plume of "Lil' Jon," along with his "East Side Boys."
My friend scoffed at the song and said, "This is why I hate people." I looked at him (through my computer screen) incredulously and replied, "Even though you don't appreciate the musical geniuses of our era, you can at least show a little respect for their interpretation of today's events and personas through the magic of song."
And so I broke down the first chorus and verse of this opus for him.
quote:
3,6,9
Obviously this is a numerological reference to 3 and multiples of 3, 3 being the so-called "Divine Number."
quote:
damn she fine hopin she can sock it to me one mo time
"she fine"-- A reference to finite, or mortal, life? And, "hopin' she can sock it to me one mo time"-- Notice how he has still not defined "she." Almost certainly, though, "she" is the Virgin Mary, a mortal who was made immortal. Since the Virgin Mary gave birth to the child Christ, it logically follows that he hopes she can "sock it to him one mo time," or once again deliver Christ unto the Earth.
quote:
Get low, Get low 2x
He obviously is telling the faithful to bow down in humility to the coming Messiah.
quote:
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To DAT wall. This must be a reference to the Berlin wall, and the escape from Atheist Communism into the deliverance of God-Fearing West Berlin.
quote:
To the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS)
A typical symbol of the virility of men; a celebration of fertility (testicles) and industry (sweat).
quote:
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
Why would these "bitches" be crawling? Well, obviously Johnathon the Meek and His Eastern-Facing Children (yet another religious reference in itself), are referencing the Bible's teachings that women should submit to men.
quote:
To all skeet skeet motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skeet skeet got dam (God damn) x2
God DAMNS those who have "known" their mothers in such a Skeet Skeet (from the Hebrew Eskiaet, most bitter evil) fashion. This is a reference to the Gospel of Luke (Luke 16:24 And the LORD said unto His disciples, "Neither know thy mothers nor follow the skeet skeet path.").
quote:
Shortie crunk so fresh so clean can she fuck that
This, in contrast to the refrain's show of male fertility, shows female fertility to be equally mentionable.Notice how the archetypical "Shortie Crunk" is "so fresh, so clean" and makes the writer ponder, "can she fuck that?"
quote:
Question been harassing me in the mind this bitch is fine
A continuation of the previous line, showing the potential power of women over men.
quote:
I done came to the club about 50 11 times now can I play with yo
code: 50 * 11 = 550
666 - 550 = 116
116^-1 = 0.0086206896551724137931034482758621
This speaks for itself.
quote:
Panty line the club owner said I need to calm down security guard go to sweating
This line is particularly complex and needs to be broken down: First, he enters with "Panty line--," a reference to female fertility yet again, and contrasts it with "the club owner," a symbol for God. As a female begins to tempt him, God steps in and says he needs "to calm down." The security guard (St. Peter) begins to sweat, for he knows the inevitable consequences of such conflict.
quote:
Me now nigga drunk then a motherfucker threaten me now
Most predictably, he, now, nigga; drunk. He refers to God as a motherfucker (which of course is terrible insult as it insinuates that the Lord God is following the Skeet Skeet path, or way of the most bitter evil. This means, clearly, that the writer is jaded and sees God as no different from Lucifer himself.
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