The Punch
Well Dante, for starters, I think I'll say that that was quite a post. Of course, I'm not capable of ever causing you any intentional and excessive harm, so I thought that instead of giving you a good hit to the face, I'd try a verbal punch. Though I'm not quite sure it'll be up to snuff compared to my physical ones. Oh, and apologies if I sound too presumptuous and end up missing any of your points (even though I know you claimed to have none).
At any rate, I guess I'll start by saying that your post was very nostalgic to read. These are some very relevant issues that I can remember dealing with a couple years ago, and still have to fight through on occasion to this day. It's never easy dealing with the threat of uncertainty, and even more so when you feel alienated as a result of feeling misunderstood. You're 18 and your life is just around the corner, and soon, any form of an absolute agenda is gone. The decisions you make will determine where you head next in life, and the sea of possibilities is so broad, I'd imagine that with whatever tiny floatation device you feel like you have, you won't make it to a shore anytime soon.
One thing I've always found interesting about you Dante, is that you remind me of myself in some very interesting, almost frightening, ways. We can both be very pessimistic about life, people, and the world in general, but at the same time, we carry an obvious sense of hope and determination. Of course, your pessimism outdoes my own, and I would imagine that my level of faith is slightly higher, but the outlook is essentially the same. So many people are so foolish and stubborn to you, and you probably look at girls the same way an experienced car dealer would eye a Pinto. You want to left alone, forgotten to a world you feel is falling apart at the seams because your seams are tearing as well. Yet you don't want to be alone. You want to find that one special person who completes you, the one who makes you want to tear her eyes out if only you didn't love her so Goddamn much.
So what does it mean to be a walking contradiction like you, myself, and so many other countless people? It means your human, and in many ways, perfectly normal. No one wants to be alone, and whether it's because some biological dogma commands that we continue to survive, or if it's simply because of the unknown power of love is irrelevant. What is relevant here, Dante, is making peace with the uncertain, the unknown.
You're a smart guy Dante. A very smart guy. I'm perfectly willing to admit that you're probably much smarter than myself, but that doesn't mean that I don't know the drawbacks of being intelligent. Part of being intelligent entails the need to gain further knowledge and find answers to what is unknown. The most important thing here, is to understand that not every question, every uncertainty, has an answer.
Where will you be in 22 years? It could be that you'll be so happy, you won't have time to worry about a midlife crisis. The future isn't written in stone, and you know it. What's amazing, and frankly a little annoying, is how it seems to bug you despite the fact that you do know it. I'm not calling you foolish. That would be arrogant. You're just human Dante. You're human and humans are beautiful, amazing, flawed, disgusting, and pointless creatures. Again, it matters very little.
Who are you? It's interesting to hear, or read, rather, you say that you want thing's to be easier; that you dream of a simpler life. Nothing in life worth having is easy. It's stupid of me to say that. You already know that. It's cliché, and it's dumb, and you've probably heard it hundreds, if not thousands, of times in your life. Frankly, that doesn't stop it from being any less true, and Dante, nothing in life is harder than finding out who you really, truly are.
If you honestly feel that you lie everyday to us, than you already ceased to exist a long time ago. The Dante we know is just a walking, talking, funny and annoying guy who we all love. He isn't you. Honestly though, I don't feel like you lie to us everyday. Despite what people say, you can't live a lie. You'll always be you, even if it's pretend. You're still you, and you're still here, and you still have people to go back to.
Despite the way you sometimes act, I think you're truly a compassionate person Dante. Your post concerning Alexis is a good example. You said so many nasty and hurtful things, claiming them all to be true. Maybe in your mind they are. You've seen the same thing happen to girls over and over, and it makes you nuts. Fact is, you care Dante. Sorry if it seems presumptuous, but consider: not caring means not caring. It means that you wouldn't go to the trouble of telling Alexis how you feel, not because you just have to voice your opinion. You could do that easily by simply telling any one of us. Very few people give lectures because they don't care Dante. She pissed you off, to be certain, but if you care enough to let her know, you care enough to hope she won't be so damn unhappy anymore, even if it's purely for selfish reasons. You still care. You still want people to stop being unhappy, yourself included.
This little post ends nothing Dante. I'm not nearly conceited enough to believe that someone who's a lot like you will have any hope of making you look at things differently. I'm hardly vain enough to assume that our lives are similar enough to render the same way of approaching problems. I'm not you. In the end, you only have yourself to work these things out with. Friends though, Dante, friends can carry you there. I certainly can't speak absolutely on behalf of everyone, but I'm always here Dante. If nothing else, keep my name in the back of your memory. On that day, when your insipid life that's amounted to nothing finds you sleeping in a gutter somewhere, think of me and look me up. Once the bridge burns, then we can start rebuilding it. In the meantime though, you're full of possibilities. You're intelligent, which speaks volumes of your potential, and you're writing skills are amazing. You have an astounding writing style that expresses both articulation and emotion that I only hope I can one day posses. That's just the beginning though. I'm willing to bet there's a multitude of experiences you've yet to have that will lead to other talents and passions that will only further round you as a person.
All flattery aside Dante, you're a confused guy. It's natural. People go their whole lives being confused, but that doesn't stop people from being content. To be honest Dante, I don't believe in happiness as a constant state, but I do believe in being content. From contentedness, happiness follows.
Accept it Dante. Learn when to accept. You don't always have to ask questions. Answers don't always solve problems. Be the contradiction. Never stop asking questions, but know when to stop. Seek out the love of your life, but let her come to you. Be whoever you want to be, but remember who you are. Do everything, and do nothing Dante, and then you'll truly live. Just accept what is, and remember:
Even the sun goes down, heroes eventually die, horoscopes often lie, and sometimes "y", nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain, nothing lasts forever, but until they close the curtain...
The fact is, everything I've said, you already know. You've already heard it or thought it hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Frankly, sometimes it's more important to be reminded of something important than to learn something new. That's why there's not always an answer.
Sorry if my punch wasn't that hard. Matt will be more than happy to make up for my impotence.
-Black Jackie Boy Kidd
At any rate, I guess I'll start by saying that your post was very nostalgic to read. These are some very relevant issues that I can remember dealing with a couple years ago, and still have to fight through on occasion to this day. It's never easy dealing with the threat of uncertainty, and even more so when you feel alienated as a result of feeling misunderstood. You're 18 and your life is just around the corner, and soon, any form of an absolute agenda is gone. The decisions you make will determine where you head next in life, and the sea of possibilities is so broad, I'd imagine that with whatever tiny floatation device you feel like you have, you won't make it to a shore anytime soon.
One thing I've always found interesting about you Dante, is that you remind me of myself in some very interesting, almost frightening, ways. We can both be very pessimistic about life, people, and the world in general, but at the same time, we carry an obvious sense of hope and determination. Of course, your pessimism outdoes my own, and I would imagine that my level of faith is slightly higher, but the outlook is essentially the same. So many people are so foolish and stubborn to you, and you probably look at girls the same way an experienced car dealer would eye a Pinto. You want to left alone, forgotten to a world you feel is falling apart at the seams because your seams are tearing as well. Yet you don't want to be alone. You want to find that one special person who completes you, the one who makes you want to tear her eyes out if only you didn't love her so Goddamn much.
So what does it mean to be a walking contradiction like you, myself, and so many other countless people? It means your human, and in many ways, perfectly normal. No one wants to be alone, and whether it's because some biological dogma commands that we continue to survive, or if it's simply because of the unknown power of love is irrelevant. What is relevant here, Dante, is making peace with the uncertain, the unknown.
You're a smart guy Dante. A very smart guy. I'm perfectly willing to admit that you're probably much smarter than myself, but that doesn't mean that I don't know the drawbacks of being intelligent. Part of being intelligent entails the need to gain further knowledge and find answers to what is unknown. The most important thing here, is to understand that not every question, every uncertainty, has an answer.
Where will you be in 22 years? It could be that you'll be so happy, you won't have time to worry about a midlife crisis. The future isn't written in stone, and you know it. What's amazing, and frankly a little annoying, is how it seems to bug you despite the fact that you do know it. I'm not calling you foolish. That would be arrogant. You're just human Dante. You're human and humans are beautiful, amazing, flawed, disgusting, and pointless creatures. Again, it matters very little.
Who are you? It's interesting to hear, or read, rather, you say that you want thing's to be easier; that you dream of a simpler life. Nothing in life worth having is easy. It's stupid of me to say that. You already know that. It's cliché, and it's dumb, and you've probably heard it hundreds, if not thousands, of times in your life. Frankly, that doesn't stop it from being any less true, and Dante, nothing in life is harder than finding out who you really, truly are.
If you honestly feel that you lie everyday to us, than you already ceased to exist a long time ago. The Dante we know is just a walking, talking, funny and annoying guy who we all love. He isn't you. Honestly though, I don't feel like you lie to us everyday. Despite what people say, you can't live a lie. You'll always be you, even if it's pretend. You're still you, and you're still here, and you still have people to go back to.
Despite the way you sometimes act, I think you're truly a compassionate person Dante. Your post concerning Alexis is a good example. You said so many nasty and hurtful things, claiming them all to be true. Maybe in your mind they are. You've seen the same thing happen to girls over and over, and it makes you nuts. Fact is, you care Dante. Sorry if it seems presumptuous, but consider: not caring means not caring. It means that you wouldn't go to the trouble of telling Alexis how you feel, not because you just have to voice your opinion. You could do that easily by simply telling any one of us. Very few people give lectures because they don't care Dante. She pissed you off, to be certain, but if you care enough to let her know, you care enough to hope she won't be so damn unhappy anymore, even if it's purely for selfish reasons. You still care. You still want people to stop being unhappy, yourself included.
This little post ends nothing Dante. I'm not nearly conceited enough to believe that someone who's a lot like you will have any hope of making you look at things differently. I'm hardly vain enough to assume that our lives are similar enough to render the same way of approaching problems. I'm not you. In the end, you only have yourself to work these things out with. Friends though, Dante, friends can carry you there. I certainly can't speak absolutely on behalf of everyone, but I'm always here Dante. If nothing else, keep my name in the back of your memory. On that day, when your insipid life that's amounted to nothing finds you sleeping in a gutter somewhere, think of me and look me up. Once the bridge burns, then we can start rebuilding it. In the meantime though, you're full of possibilities. You're intelligent, which speaks volumes of your potential, and you're writing skills are amazing. You have an astounding writing style that expresses both articulation and emotion that I only hope I can one day posses. That's just the beginning though. I'm willing to bet there's a multitude of experiences you've yet to have that will lead to other talents and passions that will only further round you as a person.
All flattery aside Dante, you're a confused guy. It's natural. People go their whole lives being confused, but that doesn't stop people from being content. To be honest Dante, I don't believe in happiness as a constant state, but I do believe in being content. From contentedness, happiness follows.
Accept it Dante. Learn when to accept. You don't always have to ask questions. Answers don't always solve problems. Be the contradiction. Never stop asking questions, but know when to stop. Seek out the love of your life, but let her come to you. Be whoever you want to be, but remember who you are. Do everything, and do nothing Dante, and then you'll truly live. Just accept what is, and remember:
Even the sun goes down, heroes eventually die, horoscopes often lie, and sometimes "y", nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain, nothing lasts forever, but until they close the curtain...
The fact is, everything I've said, you already know. You've already heard it or thought it hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Frankly, sometimes it's more important to be reminded of something important than to learn something new. That's why there's not always an answer.
Sorry if my punch wasn't that hard. Matt will be more than happy to make up for my impotence.
-Black Jackie Boy Kidd
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