Music And What It Means To Me
I woke up late for guitar practice today and had to wait for the late bus. Since you don't know exactly what that entails, I'll tell you. It means walking an extra four blocks and waiting an extra 45 minutes for the next, aptly-named late bus. Now for some, this may seem arduous and lame, but for me, it's a chance to listen to music and reflect on myself as a human being. Yes, I do actually do that.
Anyhow, as I sat on the sidewalk there in the bare sun, my face began to itch. I touched and realized there were tears running out of my eyes. And I didn't know why. I didn't feel sad. I didn't injure myself greviously. Yet there I was. There were no sobs or anything of the sort. Just tears, running out of my eyes. And I reflected on this. I thought about the kind of person I've become over the past four years. Was it that I was ashamed, or wept for my inevitable loss of innocence? No, that really didn't seem to be it. And then my headphones blazed a tune from Stone Temple Pilots, one off of Purple. But I thought then of Core, their debut album, and why I liked it so damn much. And it occured to me that I didn't like it just for what it was, a solid album that STP could never top again, but for what it represented. The entire CD was a fluid chain of memories for me. Peanut butter M&Ms and StarCraft in the Livermore heat. Wicked Garden and Roman telling me I have good taste in music. Dead and Bloated over the phone and Travis' douchy nemesis can't hear out of his ear for a few hours. Wet My Bed and dad telling me it's an ode to Jim Morrison. Creep and I'm the only one whose singing the lyrics right, and it's the eighth time we've listened. Walking to Palomart. Not knowing anyone named Kathlene. Being disgusted by drugs, all of us, not just me. Skating and spending the night at Donny's. Staying up to watch Star Trek and drink root beer. All of these things in my head as I listen to this music. And it's the same with other albums and songs. Satellite by P.O.D. reminds me of freshman year and wanting so bad to ask Danielle out and hating myself for lacking the courage. Thinking About Forever by P.O.D. likewise reminds me of Rebecca, of staying up until four talking and being mesmerized by this person I've idealized in my mind. KoRn's Follow the Leader and playing The World Is Not Enough with Roman and getting stuck on the same fucking level. Del Tha Funkee Homosapien and Habbo Hotel. And Oxie. And being coaxed into making a blog called Inferno Cafe. Seal and falling in love with love. Garbage's first album and realizing Rebecca will never care for me as we drive home from Arizona. Presidents of the United States of America's first album and singing with my dad. I fucking loved him then. Hootie and the Blowfish's first album reminds me of the first year of having foreign exchange students and having a crush on Emily's foreign exchange girl. ESPECIALLY the first song, Hannah Jane (mostly for the chorus, mind you). U2 and taking breaks at La Val's to listen to Electrical Storm instead of smoke like everyone else. Papa Roach's Broken Home and bonding with Eric Aldrich even though I enjoyed the rap portions of Infest and he hated them. Chris Issak and walking to Lincoln Park to go see the girl I was going out with, because somehow, I knew what was coming. You know the girl as the Unmentionable. Chumbawumba's One By One and being depressed with my stepbrothers. Alanis Morissette and flicking the lights off in my dad's whole house and shooting at each other. Barenaked Ladies and I'm still the only one getting the lyrics right to One Week and it's the eighth fucking time we've heard the song, this time in a row. Andrew reminds me of Stay Forever by Ween, and he knows why. Travis reminds me of Hey There Fancy Pants because it seems so fitting. Matt reminds me of Bad Company by Bad Company, because the song fits his personality so well. Lucio reminds me of so many songs, but if I had to pick one...Jesus, I can't think of just one. Sorry. Alyssa reminds me of Garbage's Drive You Home for reasons that are obvious to me. Likewise, Myha reminds me of the song 3 AM by Poets of the Fall for reasons that are again obvious to me. My mom reminds me of So Far Away by Carole King. Rebecca reminds more than anything of the song Someone Special by Poets of the Fall.
The point of all this is that all this music reminds me of how fucking sweet my life has really been, and how I, much like many people, tend to forget that and focus on the crap. And I think it's because inside, we want to hurt sometimes. It feels good to hurt, because in pain you realize that you're still alive, and the attention is always good. The unadultered, pure love that comes from those who really care. But it's possible to go overboard with it. To get addicted to that need for undivided attention. And I don't want to hurt anymore. I know I'm alive, and I don't want to waste anymore time verifying it.
Anyhow, I want to know what memories are tied to your favorite music, so either comment it or write a new post if you're a writer here.
EDIT: YES!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyhow, as I sat on the sidewalk there in the bare sun, my face began to itch. I touched and realized there were tears running out of my eyes. And I didn't know why. I didn't feel sad. I didn't injure myself greviously. Yet there I was. There were no sobs or anything of the sort. Just tears, running out of my eyes. And I reflected on this. I thought about the kind of person I've become over the past four years. Was it that I was ashamed, or wept for my inevitable loss of innocence? No, that really didn't seem to be it. And then my headphones blazed a tune from Stone Temple Pilots, one off of Purple. But I thought then of Core, their debut album, and why I liked it so damn much. And it occured to me that I didn't like it just for what it was, a solid album that STP could never top again, but for what it represented. The entire CD was a fluid chain of memories for me. Peanut butter M&Ms and StarCraft in the Livermore heat. Wicked Garden and Roman telling me I have good taste in music. Dead and Bloated over the phone and Travis' douchy nemesis can't hear out of his ear for a few hours. Wet My Bed and dad telling me it's an ode to Jim Morrison. Creep and I'm the only one whose singing the lyrics right, and it's the eighth time we've listened. Walking to Palomart. Not knowing anyone named Kathlene. Being disgusted by drugs, all of us, not just me. Skating and spending the night at Donny's. Staying up to watch Star Trek and drink root beer. All of these things in my head as I listen to this music. And it's the same with other albums and songs. Satellite by P.O.D. reminds me of freshman year and wanting so bad to ask Danielle out and hating myself for lacking the courage. Thinking About Forever by P.O.D. likewise reminds me of Rebecca, of staying up until four talking and being mesmerized by this person I've idealized in my mind. KoRn's Follow the Leader and playing The World Is Not Enough with Roman and getting stuck on the same fucking level. Del Tha Funkee Homosapien and Habbo Hotel. And Oxie. And being coaxed into making a blog called Inferno Cafe. Seal and falling in love with love. Garbage's first album and realizing Rebecca will never care for me as we drive home from Arizona. Presidents of the United States of America's first album and singing with my dad. I fucking loved him then. Hootie and the Blowfish's first album reminds me of the first year of having foreign exchange students and having a crush on Emily's foreign exchange girl. ESPECIALLY the first song, Hannah Jane (mostly for the chorus, mind you). U2 and taking breaks at La Val's to listen to Electrical Storm instead of smoke like everyone else. Papa Roach's Broken Home and bonding with Eric Aldrich even though I enjoyed the rap portions of Infest and he hated them. Chris Issak and walking to Lincoln Park to go see the girl I was going out with, because somehow, I knew what was coming. You know the girl as the Unmentionable. Chumbawumba's One By One and being depressed with my stepbrothers. Alanis Morissette and flicking the lights off in my dad's whole house and shooting at each other. Barenaked Ladies and I'm still the only one getting the lyrics right to One Week and it's the eighth fucking time we've heard the song, this time in a row. Andrew reminds me of Stay Forever by Ween, and he knows why. Travis reminds me of Hey There Fancy Pants because it seems so fitting. Matt reminds me of Bad Company by Bad Company, because the song fits his personality so well. Lucio reminds me of so many songs, but if I had to pick one...Jesus, I can't think of just one. Sorry. Alyssa reminds me of Garbage's Drive You Home for reasons that are obvious to me. Likewise, Myha reminds me of the song 3 AM by Poets of the Fall for reasons that are again obvious to me. My mom reminds me of So Far Away by Carole King. Rebecca reminds more than anything of the song Someone Special by Poets of the Fall.
The point of all this is that all this music reminds me of how fucking sweet my life has really been, and how I, much like many people, tend to forget that and focus on the crap. And I think it's because inside, we want to hurt sometimes. It feels good to hurt, because in pain you realize that you're still alive, and the attention is always good. The unadultered, pure love that comes from those who really care. But it's possible to go overboard with it. To get addicted to that need for undivided attention. And I don't want to hurt anymore. I know I'm alive, and I don't want to waste anymore time verifying it.
Anyhow, I want to know what memories are tied to your favorite music, so either comment it or write a new post if you're a writer here.
EDIT: YES!!!!!!!!!!!
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