Pain

For the past few days, something has been wrong. I don't know what it is, but it seems to be getting worse. My head hurts. All the time. I went to bed early last night and it did nothing. My mind feel disconnected from the rest of the world. I don't feel alive. I feel like I'm looking at the world through binoculars or cosedl-circuit television. My memory is really bad. I can't laugh or cry or express. I shaved my hair. My eyes don't focus unless I will them to. My head HURTS. I can't concentrate. I feel like a television that isn't tuned correctly. When people talk to me, I don't hear them or I ignore them. I keep having insane thoughts, ones that I won't go into. My dreams are vivid and nonsensical. I keep reliving memories when I'm trying to fall asleep. I feel like I'm dying. I tried to repress this pain when it wasn't so bad on Friday, but today it is unconstrainable. It's been affecting my attitude and social behavior as you might have noticed. I have lost the will to maintain...anything really. If there are spelling errors in this, I'm not going to correct them. I just don't care if people like more or not. If anyone's waiting for some kind of apology or something, they shouldn't hold their breath. I'm under a lot of stress I'm sure, but for what? I don't know. I just feel like a shell right now.