I Hate Kids(in big numbers)

Today, I had to substitute for my dad in teaching the very little kids' class, we're talking about five year olds here. I opened up the dojo for him, i was twenty minutes early, didn't know what time it started so i figured it'd be better if i were ealrier. I drew to let the time go bye. About ten minutes before the class started, the first little hellraiser entered, with a stupid look on his face. I said to myslef not a problem, I can handle this. Things'll be just fine. Boy was I wrong. After the first kid came in, three others followed. Four kids, not a big deal. I started the class as usual. They seemed obedient enough, they followed instructions and didn't talk too much. It's now that i realize that it's all part of their diabolical plans to fuck shit up. They play the innocent role, making you feel comfortable and safe. However, once you put your gaurd down, that's when they strike. Midway through warm ups, three kids come late. that makes SEVEN. Soon after, followed by another. Holy crap EIGHT kids. Not a problem. I was way too confident. The class continued along well enough, i learned each of their names, but demons have no names. It wan't even ten mintues into the class when one of the little devils started to run around...........IN CIRCLES screaming his head off. I quickly put a stop to his shit, when across the room three other kids start screwing around. Firmly as I could, I set the class back to order. The the little shit started running in circles again, which set off a giant chain reaction to the other students. They have way too much energy. I start them off on relay(sp?) racing, convincing them that if they wanted to score points they'd have to line up in an orderly fashion and not talk. Wanting to score points, the majority of them got the idea. However, our little cirlce runner didn't. He kept talking and bouncing around, getting all hifey. The one annoying douche in his group kept telling him to shut his ass up, cause he wanted to win. Naturally, this caused a whole lot more chaos. While we were rolling, one little girl wasn't watching were she was going and rolled right into another kid, who began to CRY! It was nothing to cry about!!! Now the teams were uneven so the team with less people needed someone to go twice. Guess what. The kids didn't get it. Half of them wanted to go twice, even kids on the other team. Now this isn't really such a big deal, but after so much of their shit, little things really ticked me off. After the crying kid got over himself. He got back into the game. Only to get hurt again. He wasn't watchong were he was going, and back rolled right into a wall. He hit his head and got a pretty big bump. Not having any ice in the dojo, I improvised with bottled water, cold bottled water mind you. So i took him aside, while trying to keep control of the class from afar. I have him hold the water botle himself, becasue this obviously wasn't working. I take control of the class once again. Only to find the little circle runner touching other people in ways that he shouldn't be. He was getting his junk all over the other kids. He would sit with his legs spread and he pulled one of the other kids between his legs. Not only that, but he also started laying on top of another boy, pinning him to the ground. I litterally had to pry this kid off of at least three other kids. His junk was on everybody. I look at the time and it's only six o'clock. It's only been HALF AN HOUR only thirty more minutes to go. Damn it felt like forever as it was, I wasn't too fond of the idea of living out two eternities. Just then, a savior entered the door, no not my dad, but another guy from my own class. He's like a third degree blackbelt, pretty nice guy. Anyway, I ask him to take over for me. He does, and he does it just fine. Aparently he used to teach a class of little kids, so this was nothing new for him. He saved my day. Anyway, the bottom line is that kids suck, and I hope never to do that again. Maddox was right