To Hell With Subtlety

Well, thanks to Andrew the cat seems to be out of the clear plastic bag it was in before. Yes, I have a pretty big crush on Alyssa, and the reason I tried to smoke and mirror it on this site as much as I could was because I didn't want to do this over the internet, since the web has a tendency to be coldly inpersonal at worst and hopelessly disembodied at best. Yes, I know you've been egging me on like crazy Travis. I just hope she hasn't been keeping up with the site, otherwise tomorrow will be...I dunno. It's obvious to me that she already knows. But does she? I don't know. I'm hesistant to ask not because I'm on the fence with how I feel about her; on the contrary, if I had two words to describe her, they would be fucking awesome. I'll try not to go into the strenuous details like I normally do (Danielle, Simone) and just point out that she's still cool no matter how much of a cheapass she is at Soul Calibur 2. No, I'm hesitant to ask because I've been sucked into her life enough to know she needs someone at any capacity, be it friend, confidant, or even punching bag, and I fear that if my asking is denied, it might put some kind of awkward schism that would prevent me from being one of those someones at any capacity. Not to say that that would necessarily happen, but the possibility has been weighing on my mind. As Matt pointed out, it seems I've been burning through my fair share of girls, although I don't see it that way. Me and Rebecca never were; me and Danielle weren't for long, and not by my choice, and the Unmentionable....well, she's a whore, and whores aren't for long term. Oxie asked me a question the other day that I've been aticipating since these feelings developped, believe it or not, last year around the time me and Danielle went kaput (I cooled down because I got the impression Alyssa didn't feel the way I did and that it would be best to not jump the cliff for no reason). Sorry if I'm going off on a lot of tangents and making this hard to follow, but bear with me as I try to get the whole message out. The question was this: Do you want to go out with her because you truly like her or is it merely because you feel some obligation towards trying to resolve whatever issues she may have? While it is true that there is some part of my subconscious mind that sympathizes with girls who have issues like mine (family wise, I mean), it is not strong enough to warrant an entire relationship, otherwise I'd still be going out with the Unmentionable. Don't even try to tell me there aren't some kind of issues in THAT thing. So yes, I truly like her. Funny how similar the word like is...well, let's not ever go there again. Not until that special someone saves me from a burning building in the least. You know what I'm talking about.

I don't know what else to really say at this point, other than I have a feeling my need to say everything that's on my mind, regardless of what it might be, will probably be the death of me. But that's the price to pay for being me, and I pay it glaldly.

That's right, I semi quoted Equilibrium, Lucio. WHat are you going to do about it? I'll tell you. You'll email me the "Yeah Yeah!" sound effect like you said!

SCHWAH!