288 Days and Counting
Blargh. I'm not sure if I've written anything of great substance in a while, but Bryan needs entertainment and I've got some stuff I want to get off my chest anyway. Nothing melodramatic (I don't think anyway), just some random, free-floating thoughts.
So wow. Senior year. For the past year or so, just thinking about the fact that I would soon be entering into my senior year didn't strike me as any particular big deal. That, or perhaps I simply didn't bother spending any time musing on it at all. Whatever the case, I was more or less ready to enter into my senior year and get it over with. Of course, as I've learned more times than I care to count in my life, nothing ever simply goes as planned.
On a whim, I decided to watch FLCL last night. I was still feeling the effects of the summer sleep patterns and knew that there was no way I would get to bed before 3 anyway, so I decided to just watch it. The series still amazes me, and while Cowboy Bebop and Evangelion are two of the highest pinnacles in story telling animation, something about FLCL just strikes me as more charming and hits home with me everytime. To those of you unaware of FLCL's primary theme, it's basically one centered around the importance of knowing when to grow up a little and when to act your age (though this isn't an easy theme to derive). There's much more to it, but I would rather you watch it and enjoy it yourself than have me spell it out for you. Besides, you only need a basic understanding of the theme to understand what I'm talking about.
Anyway, getting back to the point, after watching FLCL, my mind finally seemed to register what the implications of beginning school again were.
This is really the last year.
Of course one could argue the point that there's still college in terms of academics, but really, that's just as big a variable as everything else. At the risk of sounding like an afterschool special, after this year, no matter how much we as individuals may not change, everything around us certainly will. Familiar faces will begin to grow few and far between, and all that will be left are the good friends who we stay in contact with afterwards. I don't have close ties with most of the kids in my year anyway, but the fact that this will be the last year I see most of them struck me as something radically shaking. Frankly, the fact that I won't see Brian or Brian Kim around alone is enough to make me view Alameda High as more foriegn than it's ever been. All there is now are the faces of the unfamiliar lower classmen and the people in my own grade who I don't really know. It's not a particularly big change, but it's enough to effect me apparently.
So this poses the inevitable question that FLCL brought up, and which every person must face in their life, whether consciously or subconsciously: Am I really ready to grow up?
By some standards, I'm a more mature individual than most, or so I've been told. In most instances, I handle my situations in a calm and thoughtful fashion, and I'm usually only rash when it comes to having fun. Regardless of that, I still have very childish tendencies and have stuck with my belief that one shouldn't try to grow up too fast. When people were asked in English today what they looked forward to this year, almost everyone answered that they were looking forward to graduating or to their plans for after graduation. When it came to me, I answered, "I'm looking forward to enjoying the rest of whatever childhood I have left."
What's pretty amazing, is realizing that I have no idea how long that could be. By standards of the status quo, I guess it would "officially" end March 10th or June 17th of next year. I like to think I have a little longer to enjoy the minimal of responsibilties in life, but the fact is, there's just no way to know. It's a pretty strange feeling.
I have so many memories of my childhood that feel as though they were just yesterday. They're so close that if I close my eyes and remember, I can feel it in my stomach: the exact feeling of those days that were filled with nothing but fun, and when worries were almost nonexistent. Recesses spent playing with a twig, inventing stories about men who lost their pants; beating TMNT with Daniel every morning before school; playing bar tag in the pouring rain and then getting practically naked and drying off at Trav's house; arguing over who would get to sleep on the heater that night; those rare but wonderful times when Andrew was able to hang out outside of school; snorting milk, soda and noodles up our noses; filling a recycling bin with water and popping up to offer people their fortunes; scaring the hell out of girls walking through Bayfarm and hearing those blood-curdling screams; wandering around Jack London and China Town for most of the day; stealing food and video games from Mr. Hill; the various clever and infamous birthday present wrappings; fishing by the docks and punishing an upstart blood worm for his sass; getting our balls abused by Emily and Megan; laying down at Edison and watching the stars "move" and the sky flash brightly for a second; taking funny pictures on the Giant Dipper; chasing squirrels in the park with Happy; making people honk for being happy, then nearly getting run over in the street later that night with a box on my head; wrestling Andrew, Travis, Jesse, ans Musashi all at the same time; sleeping in one room with all my closest friends and talking about nothing or everything for 3 hours after we should have gone to bed... I don't think I'll ever understand why some people want to grow up faster.
There are some things I wish I had done when I had the chance, but it's what I have done that's made me who I am, not what I haven't done. In that way, I have no regrets about the past, and to me, it's all a string of happy, sad, exciting, scary, or other memories. It's been a fun ride, and really, it's only just started. So I guess when I grow up, it'll all start over in a sense, and I can close the chapter on this first part of the wonderful life I've lead so far.
So one more year, and then we all set off on our own goals. Some of us will get their faster than the others, but I hope you guys plan on keeping in touch. Excluding Matt of course (though an occasional letter from China isn't too much to ask). I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks so, but I remember 8th grade being an awesome year, so it's my hope that we can try to make this year the best one we could ask for. I want to fill this year with as many memories of my childhood as I can. So let's enjoy it for all that it's worth, and film, and play Smash Bros., and sit under the stars, and talk and laugh, and do everything we can to ensure we all remember the good times we had. After all, you only get one child hood, so let's rape and pillage it the best we can.
On another note, I've finally decided on a rough scenario for the story I'm planning to write. Now it's a matter of deciding on some solid guidelines such as a theme, characters, motifs, etc. before I can start writing. Once I start writing however, I'd like to know if anyone's interested in playing the role of editor for me. More specifically, just keeping me slightly on track and making sure I turn out something at least every other day, even if it's just thinking about ideas on days where I don't necessarily feel like writing. I would greatly appreciate anyone who could take up the job to just remind me and keep me on track, since I'd like to finish this work before the end of the year.
Which reminds me, take care of my memory cards will you Andrew? I'll have your pages next week.
Until next time my fellow mateys. Enjoy life.
-Black Jack Kidd
So wow. Senior year. For the past year or so, just thinking about the fact that I would soon be entering into my senior year didn't strike me as any particular big deal. That, or perhaps I simply didn't bother spending any time musing on it at all. Whatever the case, I was more or less ready to enter into my senior year and get it over with. Of course, as I've learned more times than I care to count in my life, nothing ever simply goes as planned.
On a whim, I decided to watch FLCL last night. I was still feeling the effects of the summer sleep patterns and knew that there was no way I would get to bed before 3 anyway, so I decided to just watch it. The series still amazes me, and while Cowboy Bebop and Evangelion are two of the highest pinnacles in story telling animation, something about FLCL just strikes me as more charming and hits home with me everytime. To those of you unaware of FLCL's primary theme, it's basically one centered around the importance of knowing when to grow up a little and when to act your age (though this isn't an easy theme to derive). There's much more to it, but I would rather you watch it and enjoy it yourself than have me spell it out for you. Besides, you only need a basic understanding of the theme to understand what I'm talking about.
Anyway, getting back to the point, after watching FLCL, my mind finally seemed to register what the implications of beginning school again were.
This is really the last year.
Of course one could argue the point that there's still college in terms of academics, but really, that's just as big a variable as everything else. At the risk of sounding like an afterschool special, after this year, no matter how much we as individuals may not change, everything around us certainly will. Familiar faces will begin to grow few and far between, and all that will be left are the good friends who we stay in contact with afterwards. I don't have close ties with most of the kids in my year anyway, but the fact that this will be the last year I see most of them struck me as something radically shaking. Frankly, the fact that I won't see Brian or Brian Kim around alone is enough to make me view Alameda High as more foriegn than it's ever been. All there is now are the faces of the unfamiliar lower classmen and the people in my own grade who I don't really know. It's not a particularly big change, but it's enough to effect me apparently.
So this poses the inevitable question that FLCL brought up, and which every person must face in their life, whether consciously or subconsciously: Am I really ready to grow up?
By some standards, I'm a more mature individual than most, or so I've been told. In most instances, I handle my situations in a calm and thoughtful fashion, and I'm usually only rash when it comes to having fun. Regardless of that, I still have very childish tendencies and have stuck with my belief that one shouldn't try to grow up too fast. When people were asked in English today what they looked forward to this year, almost everyone answered that they were looking forward to graduating or to their plans for after graduation. When it came to me, I answered, "I'm looking forward to enjoying the rest of whatever childhood I have left."
What's pretty amazing, is realizing that I have no idea how long that could be. By standards of the status quo, I guess it would "officially" end March 10th or June 17th of next year. I like to think I have a little longer to enjoy the minimal of responsibilties in life, but the fact is, there's just no way to know. It's a pretty strange feeling.
I have so many memories of my childhood that feel as though they were just yesterday. They're so close that if I close my eyes and remember, I can feel it in my stomach: the exact feeling of those days that were filled with nothing but fun, and when worries were almost nonexistent. Recesses spent playing with a twig, inventing stories about men who lost their pants; beating TMNT with Daniel every morning before school; playing bar tag in the pouring rain and then getting practically naked and drying off at Trav's house; arguing over who would get to sleep on the heater that night; those rare but wonderful times when Andrew was able to hang out outside of school; snorting milk, soda and noodles up our noses; filling a recycling bin with water and popping up to offer people their fortunes; scaring the hell out of girls walking through Bayfarm and hearing those blood-curdling screams; wandering around Jack London and China Town for most of the day; stealing food and video games from Mr. Hill; the various clever and infamous birthday present wrappings; fishing by the docks and punishing an upstart blood worm for his sass; getting our balls abused by Emily and Megan; laying down at Edison and watching the stars "move" and the sky flash brightly for a second; taking funny pictures on the Giant Dipper; chasing squirrels in the park with Happy; making people honk for being happy, then nearly getting run over in the street later that night with a box on my head; wrestling Andrew, Travis, Jesse, ans Musashi all at the same time; sleeping in one room with all my closest friends and talking about nothing or everything for 3 hours after we should have gone to bed... I don't think I'll ever understand why some people want to grow up faster.
There are some things I wish I had done when I had the chance, but it's what I have done that's made me who I am, not what I haven't done. In that way, I have no regrets about the past, and to me, it's all a string of happy, sad, exciting, scary, or other memories. It's been a fun ride, and really, it's only just started. So I guess when I grow up, it'll all start over in a sense, and I can close the chapter on this first part of the wonderful life I've lead so far.
So one more year, and then we all set off on our own goals. Some of us will get their faster than the others, but I hope you guys plan on keeping in touch. Excluding Matt of course (though an occasional letter from China isn't too much to ask). I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks so, but I remember 8th grade being an awesome year, so it's my hope that we can try to make this year the best one we could ask for. I want to fill this year with as many memories of my childhood as I can. So let's enjoy it for all that it's worth, and film, and play Smash Bros., and sit under the stars, and talk and laugh, and do everything we can to ensure we all remember the good times we had. After all, you only get one child hood, so let's rape and pillage it the best we can.
On another note, I've finally decided on a rough scenario for the story I'm planning to write. Now it's a matter of deciding on some solid guidelines such as a theme, characters, motifs, etc. before I can start writing. Once I start writing however, I'd like to know if anyone's interested in playing the role of editor for me. More specifically, just keeping me slightly on track and making sure I turn out something at least every other day, even if it's just thinking about ideas on days where I don't necessarily feel like writing. I would greatly appreciate anyone who could take up the job to just remind me and keep me on track, since I'd like to finish this work before the end of the year.
Which reminds me, take care of my memory cards will you Andrew? I'll have your pages next week.
Until next time my fellow mateys. Enjoy life.
-Black Jack Kidd
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