ARRRRGH!

Holy shit! I actually did it. I write to you from the bowels of Europe. The smelly, shitty, and often hair filled bowels of Europe. Just kidding, but I actually meant to write to you guys about two days into the trip, what is it now...a week? Yes, I should be on the seventh day by now. Oh man, I finally found an internet cafe, I was afraid of this moment, really. The moment where I would have to tell my tale in progress. I have so much to wright, and so few pounds to pay for this internet usage. I may go on for a long time about a lot of things, but please, bare with me. No one updates, so I think it is appropriate for the missing Bleacher Boy to check in, especially since I think I have some different kinds of things to tell about. Why am I trying to justufy myself? Anyways, gather round' homies...I gots a tale to tell......




Okay, so it's the day before I'm about to leave for London, and I'm hanging out with Brian. Yes, like Brian has mentioned in his entry, there has been shit to do, where the hell are you guys? We had smashed our little pony hearts out and I think he had gone home. I decided I was going to stay up really late, so I could sleep a majority of the ten hour flight to London. I did all my packing and rose up to the task very well, I think. I stayed up until about 5:30 in the morning, than fell asleep. I awoke and was pretty much all ready. I wrote some instructions for Rick to follow on how to take care of Jub Jub, because I knew the ones my dad had left was they way HE would take care of Jub Jub while I was not around. F! That's no good. I wrote my own. So I end up aking up pretty chipper, I'm not all that tireed at all. A man picks us up in some shuttle and we make our way over to the San Francisco (International) Airport. It's very nice in there. We go to the same gate that me and Jane had waved My dad and Helen off in when they went to Rome and Italy. We wit around for a long time and eventually board and take off. All right, the journey had begun, and let me tell you, what a vessal I had commandeered for this trip. This was the biggest plane I had EVER been on. It was a 777. You know, as a opposed to 747? Im sure you get the how the planes are categorized. So this 777 was a bout as wide as a street on the inside, the coach seats had a large row in the middle of the plane, on more rows on the window sides of the plan. So that makes the cabin space about larger than 30 feet on the inside. From the back of the plane, you can hardley see the front. It is so goddamn long. How the fuck is this thing going to get of of the ground? Of course, the plane had different levels of seating according to how much you pay. First class seats are not cramped and are large, few and far in between. They are big, black, Lazy Boy fucking chairs, with their own desk next to them, a lamp on an adjustable snake neck over their pretty little heads, and a big TV on a stick in front of them. Farther back down the plane there are more seats like this except not as big, than large coach seating, than coach. We had coach -__-! The plane takes off and I sleep for about half an hour. I wake. I am awake for many hours. I keep myself busy. I almost piss myself so I try to find a bathroom. I walk around the cabin looking for an open bathroom and find one at the front of the plane. As I am about to open the bathroom a stewartest emerges from the shadows and tries to stealth kill me with bullshit. She askes me where my seats are and my tired brain responds by pointing a thumb behind me in the direction of coach seating. I realize at this point I am in first class. Although I am also aware that the first class bathrooms are the same goddanm bothrooms as the rest of the planes. She tells me I need to return to my section of the cabin, and I stand there and blink once slowly. What did she just tell me? I take a moment as a try to understanf this douche logic. The first word that pops into my recently modern world history educated mind is "segregating". What the hell? BITCH! I open my mouth to argue but I just walk back. I was so pissed off I just kicked open some other bathroom, pulled the fat guy out of it, and pissed in it, without closing the door, and walked out. The plane ride was very long and the last few hours sucked. Although I have some interesting things to talk about that I saw inside the plane. As we first took off, it increasinglky got darker and darker. I was on the right side of the plane. I was going into tommorow as you all at home were enjoying your day. It was now night time and my side of the plane was completely black out of the window. I look on the other side of the plane and see that on that side of the horizen it is not yet dark. The darkest it ever got was this midnight blue. Midnight blue is not black like the night, by the way. Throughout the entire ten hours, the left side of the plane never entered complete darkness, which means that it never entered around 12:00 or 1:00 in the morning. The plane was suspended between two timezones, I could see the both, on each side of the plane. At the speed we were going, and where we were on the map, we teetered on dusk for a long time. While atmosphere I couls see on the rigth was going normally, just faster. It truned dark, night time, and back to morning within a span of about four hours. Going without saying, I didn't sleep through this head trip. In fact, throughout the whole flight I was pretty awake, I was running on very few hours already, and I had that feeling of it had been one long day since yesterday, due to the lack of sleep. The fact that the weather was doing a sidespin, just made my internal clock do a back flip. This was the start of a three day, (depending on who's days and hours you include) sleep massacre I went through. for nearly three days, my brian thought it was two in the afternoon. Oh man. Oh! By the way, I also saw a red moon during the flight, on my side of the plane of course. it was very cool, the moon was REALLY dark orange, if you want to be specific, giving it a red look. I know moons could look yellow, but this was red. No joke. it was very cool. in about 45 minutes it turned bone white again. I don't get it.

My tale is going to take a very long time. Even if no one wants to read all of it, I'm going to type it anyways. I'll save it when I get home as a little diary of sorts. If anyone enjoyed this at all I will be happy. My dad is hurrying me up. This costs pounds, buddy. By the way, to convert US dollors to pounds, you pretty much need to double everythijng. There dollor to ours is $1.90 times ours. So their dollar is nearly worht twice as much as ours. Yes, this has been an expensive vacation. I will try to wright again soon. My next chapter will include arriving in the UK and my first few days. Nothing cool to buy here, poo. I miss you guys, stop being lame and hang out. It's spo sad. Anyways homie, laters!
- Mad Dave Flint

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