Ugly Self-Loathventgasm (I'm A Wordsmith)
So I noticed you guys haven't been mailing a certain
Brian H. Dalder
Discovery School of Virginia
P.O. Box 1160
Dillwyn, VA 23936
despite numerous pleas and even a prewritten letter for you to mail. Since you guys obviously rank Dalder as expendable (which I understand given your regard for human life and your lack of knowledge about Dalder), All I ask now is that you mail him some supplies. As I mentioned before, you can't send packages. Here's a list of what he needs:
Letters from people who aren't assholes (don't worry about this one, I got it covered)
Stamps
Envelopes
Junk food (anything that fits in an envelope, no packages)
Artwork (actually, Lucio said he was going to draw something, but I also remember him saying that to me - five YEARS ago!)
Pens or Pencils
Paper
.45 caliber HP handgun rounds (don't ask, it's a secret)
razor wire
Humorous stories (make something up)
Something other than what you've mailed him so far (which would be nothing)
Seriously, I understand that he isn't your friend. I understand that you don't know what to say to him. I understood that back when I posted his address and gave you alternatives. Seriously, if money is an object (I mean, stamps and envelopes are pretty heavy blows on the dollar) then I will give you money to send stuff to him. Is semi-suicidal not motivational enough for you guys? Did I tell you he was semi-suicidal? Andrew, YOU know him, how come you haven't written anything! ARGH! And why aren't you people posting anymore! People are getting sick of me and Travis! They want something intelligent and thought provoking! And Travis, where is your creative writing story?! We can't continue with the game until you turn yours in! And why do you people like Mongorian barbecue so goddamned much! They charge too much for soda! And why do you people hate Xbox so much?! I was one of the premier haters until I actually played one. It's much better than GameCube (I can hold all of the GC games I like with my pinky toe) selection wise, and better than PS2 (not Sony's fault) graphically! And on top of that, for anyone who doesn't like the system for the way Microsoft got into the market, consider Sony and Nintendo. Nintendo got into the market the same way, with zero credentials. They were a card making company! And Sony busted in the same way Gates did: as an extension to an already massive empire with no more intent than to make money. It's a money driven society for Christ's sakes! Why is Barry White dead? He was always the bigger man in confrontations. That was a joke in poor taste if you didn't pick up on it. Why is Splinter Cell so fucking addictive? Seriously, I have a job, and if I get fired because of that stupid fucking game I swear to God I'm going to bomb UbiSoft like an abortion clinic. After they release the sequel, that is. Why is my mom such a bitch? She's somehow more liberal and angry than Green Peace and feminists combined. Did I ever tell you that she actually told me to get away from her because I "have my father's feet"? Did I mention I got transferred to continuation school for failing physics? Physics. Why is my dad such a douche? He's been married three times, had a coke addiction, has seven children (if you want to include me), and he only has enough money for his beer and whatever he wants. If you want something, get it yourself or die. Or get a job. How am I a product of these people? How did these two meet, one who's too damn smart and cynical for her own good, and one who couldn't find his way out of a wet paper bag sober, and have me? And what am I, anyway? I whine about how shit sucks when it doesn't, I'm needlessly obsessed with trying to make everyone happy, I make poor decisions...well, I could go on ragging myself, but I know my deficiencies, and if you're still reading at this point, chances are you feel sorry for me (bleh) or you think I'm a pussy (BLEH). There's another thing: I'm sick of people feeling sorry for each other. If we could just quit being sympathetic and worry about our own problems, our country would be a lot better. Of course, Colombia would be a giant crater, Russia would still be Communist (along with most of Europe), and Africa would be even more fucked that it already is. Like over-the-top-to-the-point-of-queasiness-and-chaffing fucked. So I guess what I'm saying is stop being sympathetic for me? Are you even? I feel like I've expended so much sympathy that I've left some people emotionally bankrupt. ARGH! There I go again being overly dramatic. How many people here even know what I'm talking about? Does anyone else ever feel this way? Maybe I do need sympathy. But then, why do I think of the words apathy and pathetic every time I hear it? Is it just because they sound the same? And what the hell is with this website anyway? I'm the only one reading it. Let's not even pretend anymore. I know you guys say you read it, but the reality is that I read, and half of you glance at it. The other half already deleted their bookmarks and made their own site. Don't deny it. I know. But maybe this is all a word garbage precursor to my real question: why the Hell am I attracted to dysfunctional people? Well, to be more specific, dysfunctional people who I tell I love and then get a response of how their sex life is with Jose or whomever the fuck? Of course, you see where I'm going with this. Or maybe you don't; I've been wrong with that assumption before. Regardless, I'm going to cut this off now and get to a summary:
-Write or donate to Dalder, you assholes
-Post something on here that, unlike this, people look forward to seeing
-Lucio give me that drawing!
-Give Xbox a chance
-My parents are evil
-I'm a whiner that comes off as a self-obsessed jerk with some kind of ridiculous tormention whom is the product of a hick with loose morals
-This site needs to be better
Well, I certainly feel better. I hope I get some false encouragement for my feelings. I do enjoy false things. My teeth are false. So is my hair.
P.S. The bullets and razorwire was a joke. If you send him either, you are dumb.
Brian H. Dalder
Discovery School of Virginia
P.O. Box 1160
Dillwyn, VA 23936
despite numerous pleas and even a prewritten letter for you to mail. Since you guys obviously rank Dalder as expendable (which I understand given your regard for human life and your lack of knowledge about Dalder), All I ask now is that you mail him some supplies. As I mentioned before, you can't send packages. Here's a list of what he needs:
Letters from people who aren't assholes (don't worry about this one, I got it covered)
Stamps
Envelopes
Junk food (anything that fits in an envelope, no packages)
Artwork (actually, Lucio said he was going to draw something, but I also remember him saying that to me - five YEARS ago!)
Pens or Pencils
Paper
.45 caliber HP handgun rounds (don't ask, it's a secret)
razor wire
Humorous stories (make something up)
Something other than what you've mailed him so far (which would be nothing)
Seriously, I understand that he isn't your friend. I understand that you don't know what to say to him. I understood that back when I posted his address and gave you alternatives. Seriously, if money is an object (I mean, stamps and envelopes are pretty heavy blows on the dollar) then I will give you money to send stuff to him. Is semi-suicidal not motivational enough for you guys? Did I tell you he was semi-suicidal? Andrew, YOU know him, how come you haven't written anything! ARGH! And why aren't you people posting anymore! People are getting sick of me and Travis! They want something intelligent and thought provoking! And Travis, where is your creative writing story?! We can't continue with the game until you turn yours in! And why do you people like Mongorian barbecue so goddamned much! They charge too much for soda! And why do you people hate Xbox so much?! I was one of the premier haters until I actually played one. It's much better than GameCube (I can hold all of the GC games I like with my pinky toe) selection wise, and better than PS2 (not Sony's fault) graphically! And on top of that, for anyone who doesn't like the system for the way Microsoft got into the market, consider Sony and Nintendo. Nintendo got into the market the same way, with zero credentials. They were a card making company! And Sony busted in the same way Gates did: as an extension to an already massive empire with no more intent than to make money. It's a money driven society for Christ's sakes! Why is Barry White dead? He was always the bigger man in confrontations. That was a joke in poor taste if you didn't pick up on it. Why is Splinter Cell so fucking addictive? Seriously, I have a job, and if I get fired because of that stupid fucking game I swear to God I'm going to bomb UbiSoft like an abortion clinic. After they release the sequel, that is. Why is my mom such a bitch? She's somehow more liberal and angry than Green Peace and feminists combined. Did I ever tell you that she actually told me to get away from her because I "have my father's feet"? Did I mention I got transferred to continuation school for failing physics? Physics. Why is my dad such a douche? He's been married three times, had a coke addiction, has seven children (if you want to include me), and he only has enough money for his beer and whatever he wants. If you want something, get it yourself or die. Or get a job. How am I a product of these people? How did these two meet, one who's too damn smart and cynical for her own good, and one who couldn't find his way out of a wet paper bag sober, and have me? And what am I, anyway? I whine about how shit sucks when it doesn't, I'm needlessly obsessed with trying to make everyone happy, I make poor decisions...well, I could go on ragging myself, but I know my deficiencies, and if you're still reading at this point, chances are you feel sorry for me (bleh) or you think I'm a pussy (BLEH). There's another thing: I'm sick of people feeling sorry for each other. If we could just quit being sympathetic and worry about our own problems, our country would be a lot better. Of course, Colombia would be a giant crater, Russia would still be Communist (along with most of Europe), and Africa would be even more fucked that it already is. Like over-the-top-to-the-point-of-queasiness-and-chaffing fucked. So I guess what I'm saying is stop being sympathetic for me? Are you even? I feel like I've expended so much sympathy that I've left some people emotionally bankrupt. ARGH! There I go again being overly dramatic. How many people here even know what I'm talking about? Does anyone else ever feel this way? Maybe I do need sympathy. But then, why do I think of the words apathy and pathetic every time I hear it? Is it just because they sound the same? And what the hell is with this website anyway? I'm the only one reading it. Let's not even pretend anymore. I know you guys say you read it, but the reality is that I read, and half of you glance at it. The other half already deleted their bookmarks and made their own site. Don't deny it. I know. But maybe this is all a word garbage precursor to my real question: why the Hell am I attracted to dysfunctional people? Well, to be more specific, dysfunctional people who I tell I love and then get a response of how their sex life is with Jose or whomever the fuck? Of course, you see where I'm going with this. Or maybe you don't; I've been wrong with that assumption before. Regardless, I'm going to cut this off now and get to a summary:
-Write or donate to Dalder, you assholes
-Post something on here that, unlike this, people look forward to seeing
-Lucio give me that drawing!
-Give Xbox a chance
-My parents are evil
-I'm a whiner that comes off as a self-obsessed jerk with some kind of ridiculous tormention whom is the product of a hick with loose morals
-This site needs to be better
Well, I certainly feel better. I hope I get some false encouragement for my feelings. I do enjoy false things. My teeth are false. So is my hair.
P.S. The bullets and razorwire was a joke. If you send him either, you are dumb.
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