Randomness and Business

Finally, the turtle comes out of his shell. But does Rock Lee stand a chance against Cyborg Ninja (AKA Grey Fox)? I submit that the battle would be one to spooge over. But many of you many not realize just who this legendary man, Grey Fox, is. Well, sit back and relax, I shall tell you. See, in the eighties a game called Metal Gear came out. It was about fucking shit up with a man named Solid Snake in Africa. Now, Our young lil' pal Snake wasn't always badass; like it or not, this was really his Raiden stage. Now, Raiden blows, I know, but I bet if they aged him up and downsized his ass (more crack than a drug dealer, I swear) he might just be bad. Anyway, back to my story. See Grey Fox back in the dizzay was FoxHound's (our secret military force as it were) number one man. So bad ass in fact that he was the only man ever to hold the title, 'Fox'. Well, the plot is that something is screwy in Africa and they send our resident bad ass Grey Fox in. Well, something happens and all they hear from him before all goes quiet is "Metal Gear". Now, Big Boss (head of FoxHound) is sick of this shit, so he sends a relative newb (Solid Snake, we all know the man) in to figure all this out. I cannot stress how green Snake is. He's like 20 something in this game. But anyways, he frees Fox, and they go on a bunch of wacky adventures (this part really isn't important unless you plan on playing Metal Gear Solid). Anywho, flash to Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake. This time Snake has to infiltrate.... Zanzibarland. Now I know that sounds retarded, but it has Grey Fox and a Metal Gear, so it's actually awesome. Anyways, honorable man that he is, Grey Fox tells Snake whe they meet, "Listen, homeh. I'm totally on their side. Leave or I'm gonna have to jack your shit up." Snake's like "Word?", and Fox is all, "Word, dawg." So what do they do? They have a real man's fight. I'm talking barehanded combat in a snowy mine field. Yes, mine field. Because they are too badass for nonlethal snow. Anyhow, Grey Fox loses, but since he's too bad ass to die, a scientist guy finds his body and experiments on it. Just what does he do to this body? First off, he slaps in a physical enhancement exoskeleton. Just imagine this as a cybernetic "Ass Kicking Suit". Then, he gets this badass, laser sharpened, your-bullets-mean-nothing-to-me-peasant katana. Now, since Grey Fox is an aforementioned bad ass, he thanks the man responsible for this by ripping his head off. Late! Now the rest is history, but suffice to say they only managed to kill his character by taking his edge (the katana) and replacing it with a gay laser. Oooh, look, I ruined this awesome guy by giving him a spud gun.

Anyhow, this all comes down to my point: Cyborg Ninja is a pirate. Yes he is. Why? Because he doesn't do that gayass sneaking around shit like other pussy ninjas do (see: Cyborg Ninja Ripoff, Metal Gear Solid 2). He's the kind of badass that flips out and kills EVERYONE. That's badass in the classic sense. He deals with your bullshit by killing it.