Bad Ass
Well, it seems I'm finally going to make an entry on this blog thing, and I know just where to start. Rock Lee. I cannot stress to you enough just how badass Rock Lee is. He is the epitome of badass itself. He is badass personified. He is so badass; that he could just blink and make Bruce Lee shit his pants and explode. This is not to say that Bruce Lee is not badass, far from it. Bruce Lee is the ORIGINAL badass. However, as badass as he is, he is still no match for Rock Lee. At this point, you may be ready to cleave my head in half with an axe, claiming, “But Lucio, there is no one who could possibly be that badass. How dare you?” Well, my friends, it is quite simple really.
Rock Lee was nothing. Now, you may be wondering, “How the hell can a person so ‘badass’ start as nothing? It’s not possible! You’re crazy! Rabble rabble rabble!” I say simply, “Arrr, fuck you! Let me explain!” Rock Lee WAS nothing (see the emphasis on the was?), a ninja in training that was incapable of using Ninjutsu (offensive and defensive ninja spells) or Genjutsu (illusionary ninja spells). His only option left? Taijutsu, the basic ninja art of hand to hand combat. Not only did he torture his body into the ultimate shape (Rock: “If I can’t skip rope 1200 times, I kick the practice log 2000 times!”), but he also mastered the art of Taijutsu and became the strongest rookie ninja of his village. Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. By the time we finally see him fight, we realize that not only is he the strongest rookie ninja of his village, but when using his specialty attack, the Primary Lotus (a badass name), he is actually stronger and faster than any of the elite ninjas in his village, including the village leader, said to be the greatest ninja ever. How FUCKING badass is that huh? I seriously spooged my pants so hard when I saw him fight, that I will be lucky to get another boner for the next 18 months, and even luckier if I can ever recreate semen again. If you cannot see how badass Rock Lee is, you are simply in denial my friend. Look at the facts:
1. He’s strong and determined as a motherfucker.
2. Despite that look on his face, he is actually very smart and uses his intelligence in battle.
3. He overcame all obstacles in front of him and emerged as the best of the best of the fucking best.
4. He’s weird looking. Solid Snake? Spawn? Vegeta? Guts? Gordon Freeman? Onizuka? Spike Spiegel? Voldo? Just some of the many badasses in their own right, most of these guys are pretty weird looking, and in Voldo’s case, downright disturbing. But Rock Lee has to be the weirdest looking of all.
Again, this is not to deny that your hero or icon is not badass. Only to state that Rock Lee is about 10 times (at the least) more badass than the person you’re thinking of right now. Just take it quietly and with dignity. Rock Lee: eternal and number one badass.
Well, that was pretty good for a first entry. Just had to put that out there, as Rock Lee is seriously the number one badass in existence. I’m aware that he’s a ninja, and that as pirates, we are on shaky grounds with them, but seriously, Rock Lee cannot be denied.
On another note altogether, I spoke with my aunt tonight, and she willingly invited me to set a date with her where we can all head down to the Santa Cruz area and spend a weekend there, so perhaps it will be possible to do that over the October break. I’m not sure how many people would be able to come, but let me know if anyone is interested. Not much more to say other than “ARRR! Bleacher Boys for life!” Later.
Rock Lee was nothing. Now, you may be wondering, “How the hell can a person so ‘badass’ start as nothing? It’s not possible! You’re crazy! Rabble rabble rabble!” I say simply, “Arrr, fuck you! Let me explain!” Rock Lee WAS nothing (see the emphasis on the was?), a ninja in training that was incapable of using Ninjutsu (offensive and defensive ninja spells) or Genjutsu (illusionary ninja spells). His only option left? Taijutsu, the basic ninja art of hand to hand combat. Not only did he torture his body into the ultimate shape (Rock: “If I can’t skip rope 1200 times, I kick the practice log 2000 times!”), but he also mastered the art of Taijutsu and became the strongest rookie ninja of his village. Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. By the time we finally see him fight, we realize that not only is he the strongest rookie ninja of his village, but when using his specialty attack, the Primary Lotus (a badass name), he is actually stronger and faster than any of the elite ninjas in his village, including the village leader, said to be the greatest ninja ever. How FUCKING badass is that huh? I seriously spooged my pants so hard when I saw him fight, that I will be lucky to get another boner for the next 18 months, and even luckier if I can ever recreate semen again. If you cannot see how badass Rock Lee is, you are simply in denial my friend. Look at the facts:
1. He’s strong and determined as a motherfucker.
2. Despite that look on his face, he is actually very smart and uses his intelligence in battle.
3. He overcame all obstacles in front of him and emerged as the best of the best of the fucking best.
4. He’s weird looking. Solid Snake? Spawn? Vegeta? Guts? Gordon Freeman? Onizuka? Spike Spiegel? Voldo? Just some of the many badasses in their own right, most of these guys are pretty weird looking, and in Voldo’s case, downright disturbing. But Rock Lee has to be the weirdest looking of all.
Again, this is not to deny that your hero or icon is not badass. Only to state that Rock Lee is about 10 times (at the least) more badass than the person you’re thinking of right now. Just take it quietly and with dignity. Rock Lee: eternal and number one badass.
Well, that was pretty good for a first entry. Just had to put that out there, as Rock Lee is seriously the number one badass in existence. I’m aware that he’s a ninja, and that as pirates, we are on shaky grounds with them, but seriously, Rock Lee cannot be denied.
On another note altogether, I spoke with my aunt tonight, and she willingly invited me to set a date with her where we can all head down to the Santa Cruz area and spend a weekend there, so perhaps it will be possible to do that over the October break. I’m not sure how many people would be able to come, but let me know if anyone is interested. Not much more to say other than “ARRR! Bleacher Boys for life!” Later.
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